Les Bon Temps Mom

BIG SCREEN: A Separation Revieux

2012-03-02T06:00:00.001-08:00

I knew relatively little about A Separation when I walked into the screening. I knew it was an Iranian movie that had won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film the night before, but that’s pretty much it. Given what’s going on in that region of the world, I assumed this would be a highly political film, but nothing could be further from the truth. What a pleasant surprise.

A Separation is the story of an Iranian couple in the midst of crisis. Simin, the wife, wants to move abroad, while the husband, Nader, feels compelled to remain in Iran to care for his father, who lives with them and suffers from Alzheimer’s. They reach a total impasse, and things get ugly. Caught in the middle is their bright and sensitive 11-year-old daughter, who is obviously suffering under the strain of the contention.

As the strife escalates, Simin moves out, and a series of terrible events leads to even more legal and emotional distress for all involved.

It’s definitely a well-written, beautifully acted, heartbreaking story, but what elevates it, in my book, is its raw humanity. There’s no political message, no agenda. It completely transcends any cultural differences, making it totally relatable.

Hm, we may not be as different as we thought? What a concept.

I know a lot of people are turned off by foreign films and their subtitles, but man – it’s such a great opportunity to get some new perspective on other cultures, beyond the rhetoric and actions of their politicians. It ain’t gonna settle any international disputes, but a little artistic common ground and a little objectivity couldn’t hurt.

A Separation opens today at Canal Place Theatres.

BIG SCREEN: A Dangerous Method

2012-01-26T19:55:00.000-08:00

Ever found an amazing recipe that seemed like a slam dunk? You buy all the best ingredients – the freshest herbs, the choicest cuts of meat, the finest wine to pair with it – but it just results in… meh?

That’s sorta how I felt about A Dangerous Method.

So, the story… it gives us a glimpse into the volatile relationship between psychological pioneers Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen), which developed in the years leading up to World War I in Zurich and Austria. Along comes a really, really disturbed patient named Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), who becomes one of the first female psychoanalysts, but only after drawing her doctor, Jung, into a sexual relationship that completely screws up his sensibilities and further complicates his relationship with Freud.

According to the official studio synopsis: “Sensuality, ambition and deceit set the scene for the pivotal moment when Jung, Freud and Sabina come together and split apart, forever changing the face of modern thought.”

Sounds titillating and thought-provoking and fascinating, no?

Knightly’s performance is certainly adequately disturbing and extreme, but everyone else gets lost in (I’m guessing) an attempt to remain overly understated, stifled, restrained. A tension-building technique? Snore.

Mortensen’s, well, Freudian relationship with his ubiquitous cigar is pretty much the most notable part of his performance. And I kept waiting for Fassbender to explode or implode or pretty much do anything not subdued.

Not their faults, though. A so-so script and dull direction at the hands of festival darling David Cronenberg (Crash, History of Violence) are to blame, says me. Give me new insight into Freud and Jung… illustrate how revolutionary their concepts were for their time… make me believe in or become excited by any one of these relationships! But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Sadly, with all the fabulous ingredients -- great actors and cool subject matter and costumes and such – it comes up rather bland. Lukewarm. Needed salt. And maybe a shot of Tabasco.

BIG EASY: Enter the Dragon: Restaurants for celebrating Chinese New Year in New Orleans

2012-01-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to brag, but I once threw a baby shower with a Chinese New Year theme -- for a Catholic girl of German-Irish heritage. I’m about as far away from being Chinese as she is, but I’ve always had an unnatural affinity to this holiday. Go figure. Anyway, in case you didn't know, we’re approaching the 4709th Chinese year, which begins on January 23rd, ushering in the Year of the Dragon. This means excitement, unpredictability, exhilaration and intensity. It’s supposed to fill us with energy, vitality and unbridled enthusiasm! Money is supposed to be easier to come by, so it’s a good time to start a new business or project of any sort. I’ll take it! Let’s ring in this new year!

Apparently, New Orleans once had an actual Chinatown on the 1100 block of Tulane Avenue, but much of this block have been shuttered since Hurricane Katrina. And none of the Chinese churches or cultural societies I contacted have any festivities or celebrations planned this year.

What? New Orleans is missing an opportunity for a parade and festival?! Someone needs to look into this...

But, never fear, we’ve got some tasty Chinese establishments to satisfy our celebratory needs with saucy stir fries, sumptuous dumplings, and such. Maybe you've been blessed with children who have adventurous palates? Lucky you.

Here are five of the top Chinese restaurants in New Orleans to visit or from which to order to celebrate this auspicious occasion:

1. Five Happiness (Mid-City)
3605 S Carrollton Ave
New Orleans
(504) 482-3935

2. China Doll Restaurant
Harvey
(504) 366-1111

3. Hot Wok
901 Veterans Memorial Blvd
Metairie
(504) 831-3328

4. Chinese Tea Garden (Gentilly)
2170 Filmore Ave
New Orleans
(504) 282-1493

5. China Rose (Fat City)
3501 N Arnoult Rd
New Orleans
(504) 887-3295

(Originally posted on GoNola.com)

BIG EASY: Cirque Dreams Holidaze

2011-12-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

For anyone who’s a Cirque du Soleil aficionado (or at least a fan), if you attend a Cirque Dreams Holidaze performance this week at the Mahalia Jackson Theater, you’ll know right away that it’s no Saltimbanco or Alegria. Gone are the foreign languages and super eccentric musical scores and freaky clowns and the slightly aloof air of sophistication of many of the other shows.

Naturally!

Because this is not your run-of-the-mill Cirque show. Its holiday themes are designed to capture adults’ and children’s attention with a more accessible wonderment. That’s not to say that the performances are anything but astonishing. While this kinder, gentler production is probably more palatable to a wider audience, it still has the “Whoa!” and “Wow!” factors. Both of which I uttered more times than I can count.

Throughout the show, an international cast of over 30 artists demonstrates feats of strength and balance, magical illusions, soaring vocal performances, and of course, there are the elaborate costumes, props and set design. There are daring penguins, fearlessly flipping gingerbread men, dancing trees, giant candy canes, and a whole lot of people whose sole purpose, I’m convinced, is to remind me that I’m sorely lacking in any sort of physical talent, stamina or flexibility. I feel confident, however, that I could do a bang-up job as one of the guys with sparkly cornucopias on their heads who always look astonished and do “ta-da” hands after someone does something amazing.

Maybe I can run away and join the circus afterall!

But, I digress. Get your tickets soon -- I'm sure they're in short supply!

Cirque Dreams Holidaze is at New Orleans’ Mahalia Jackson Theater through this Saturday,
Christmas Eve. The performance schedule:

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 8:00pm
Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 8:00pm
Friday, December 23, 2011 at 2:00pm & 8:00pm
Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 2:00pm

For tickets, click here or call 800-982-ARTS(2787).

Enjoy!

BIG EASY: Cajun Holiday Tea with Papa Noel

2011-12-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

So, there I was at a Laser Tag birthday party in Elmwood, trying to decide if it was worth it to drag my son away from his friends and brave the Krewe of Jingle traffic/parade route to get to the Cajun Holiday Tea with Papa Noel… well, I’m pleased to announce that, YES! We made it, and it was, in fact, totally worth it!

My husband wasn’t really thrilled at the prospect, not being a very tea party kind of guy, but nonetheless, we made a mad dash across town and boarded the Creole Queen. We were handed an agenda for the event, and directed to the next room for Santa pictures. And what to our wondering eyes should appear? But a little person in a Gingerbread Boy suit, a tall dude in a very silly Gaston the Gator costume, and a Cajun-ly dressed Papa Noel in front of a tin-roofed cabin and swampy backdrop. What an eclectic group – I’d expect no less from a Cajun tea party! Such a hoot!

With a buffet-style set up and okay food, it was certainly not the Ritz. But the jovial, attentive staff and very kid-friendly activities more than made up for it. (And, truth be told, the laid-back approach made it much more palatable to many of the macho menfolk and squirmy kids!)

Holding an eighteen-inch live alligator was certainly a highlight, as was the candy buffet. Writing, decorating, and mailing a letter to Santa was a pleasant little activity, as well. But the Magician Elf was, by far, the most entertaining part of the day. Not only did he perform some pretty amazing tricks and handily field some odd questions and requests from the kids, but he stepped up when the Gingerbread Boy was either unwilling or unable to perform his reading of The Cajun Night Before Christmas. Mr. Elf looked a bit surprised by the circumstances, but he took it all in stride, prefacing his reading by saying, “Boys and girls, I’m from a magical land called Pennsylvania, so this should be interesting…”

Hilarious! And the kids were delighted!

It’s hard to tell how these events are going to go (especially if you’re captive on a boat the whole time), but this actually wound up being one of those “good for the whole family” deals, and it really sped by. As we disembarked, each child was handed a huge stuffed alligator. Details like that made the whole experience quite unique. So many element at that party screamed New Orleans. I mean, do you think they’re petting live gators at kiddie Christmas parties in Atlanta? I don’t think so.

I highly recommend you snap up your tickets quickly. Only two more Saturdays for this special holiday party/cruise!

Boarding: 1:30pm - 2pm at RiverWalk Dock (next to N.O. Hilton Riverside Hilton Hotel)
Cruising: 2pm - 3:30pm
Price (taxes are included):
Adult: $49
Child (under 12): $34

BIG SCREEN: The Skin I Live In Revieux (Rated R)

2011-12-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

If you dig movies about beautiful people in horrific situations that make you squirm in your seat and beg for mercy… well, look no further. Yes, just in time for Christmas, Antonio Banderas provides eye candy that quickly gets mauled, gutted and violated before your very eyes!

In In the Skin I Live In, Banderas plays Robert Ledgard, a brilliant surgeon who has developed a synthetic skin that can withstand injury. Seems like an interesting concept that was born from the grief of losing his wife in a fiery car accident. But, there’s way, way more to it, beginning with the woman/guinea pig he keeps in a sealed room in his mansion and monitors on a giant screen. She’s beautiful and mysterious and practically mummified in the aforementioned faux skin, leaving us dying to figure out who the heck she is.

Ah, but be careful what you wish for. As the story begins to unfold, we discover that Ledgard is actually a mad scientist who is tortured by a series of traumatic events that turned him into a sadistic monster. That it’s all in Spanish somehow makes it more sensuous and sinister, which raises the creepy factor to almost unbearable levels.

I kid you not, I had to run to get groceries from WalMart after the screening (I know, glamorous, right?), and I found myself nervously checking out seemingly normal people to see if I could figure out which of them might have similarly twisted, sociopathic secret lives. The movie obviously made an impression on me, at the very least. So, kudos for that!

It’s certainly not for mainstream audiences, but I certainly applaud Antonio Banderas for a bold and convincing departure from the mainstream, and celebrated Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar for delivering a unique, albeit demented, movie experience.

BIG EASY: Holiday Tea Time in New Orleans

2011-12-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

New Orleans may be best known for its more boisterous festivities, but this city also has mastered the art of hosting refined afternoon teas–-especially during the holidays. Below is a listing of yuletide teas for both children and adults:

Tea For The Holidays at Windsor Court Hotel
Dates: November 25-December 31
About: Highlights of this decadent tea include featured holiday teas and cocktails, special cranberry-orange and gingerbread scones, holiday sweets, 26 of the finest loose-leaf teas, souvenir holiday menus.
Seatings:
November 25-December 23 & 26-30 – 11am, 2pm, and 4:30pm
December 24 & 31 – 11am and 2pm
Reservations: Online or call 504-596-4773

Teddy Bear Tea at The Roosevelt Hotel
Dates: December 3-23
About: This tea is for both children and adults. Santa and Mrs. Claus welcome the whole family while fancy tea and tea sandwiches, scones, desserts, sparkling wine are served. Kids get hot cocoa, peanut butter & jelly/ham & cheese sandwiches, holiday cookies, and other goodies. Kids 12 and under also get a Roosevelt Teddy Bear, Mrs. Claus will read holiday stories, and several holiday characters will appear. Pictures with Santa will be available for purchase.
Seatings:
December 3, 4, 19, 20 -- 10am and 1pm
December 10, 11, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23 -- 10am, 1pm, and 4pm.
Pricing: General reserved seating: ages 3 and under, no charge; ages 4-10, $37 ($46.16 with tax and gratuity); 11 and up, including adults, $54 ($67.37 inclusive of tax and gratuity); Limited VIP reserved seating (includes Roosevelt champagne flute for adults, one commemorative photo per family, and premium seating near the stage): ages 3 and under, no charge; ages 4-10, $47.00 ($58.63 with tax and gratuity); 11 and up, including adults, $69 ($86.08 with tax and gratuity).
Reservations: Online or via The Roosevelt Holiday Line at 504-335-3129.

Cajun Holiday Tea with Papa Noel aboard the Creole Queen
Dates: December 3, 10, 17
About: Guests on the paddlewheeler will join Papa Noel, the Cajun Gingerbread Boy, Gaston the Gator and other jolly Cajun characters. This classic tea with tempting treats will also feature storytelling, children's activities, and merriment while cruising the mighty Mississippi. Children can hold a real live alligator and take home a stuffed one.
Boarding: 1:30pm - 2pm; Cruising: 2pm - 3:30pm
Price: Adults: $49, Children under 12: $34 (includes tax)
Reservations: Online

Papa Noel Tea at The Ritz-Carlton
Dates: December 3-24
About: This elegant tea is for both parents and their children. There will be music, storytelling, and a gingerbread masterpiece. Children will receive gifts from Papa Noel.
Seatings: December 3, 4, 10, 11, 17-24 – 11am and 2pm
Pricing: Adults and children $45 each (does not include tax or gratuity)
Reservations: Online or call 504-524-1331

Longue Vue Tea on Tuesday: Gracious Global Gifts with Vom Fass
Date: December 6, from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m.
About: Join Denise Dussom, co-owner of Vom Fass New Orleans as she discusses delicious vinegars, oils, and cordials from around the globe. Sample some tasty treats and learn how to give a gracious gift this year, “straight from the cask to the customer.” A traditional tea will be served after the lecture with a selection of scones, pastries, homemade lemon curd, and finger sandwiches.
Price: $25 members; $30 nonmembers.
Reservations: Online

Longue Vue Holiday Tea and Tour
Dates: December 8, 13, 15, 20, 22, 27, and 29, from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m.
About: Tour the house, decked in twinkling lights and festive greenery; toast the holidays with a complimentary glass of champagne; savor tea with friends; enjoy seasonal sounds; and find the perfect gift at The Shop at Longue Vue.
Price: $30 for members; $35 for nonmembers.
Reservations: Online

Longue Vue Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays Family Tea with Santa
Date: December 10, from 1 to 3 p.m.
About: Children and their parents are invited to join Santa in celebrating the holidays at Longue Vue with caroling, crafts and good cheer! Have photos taken with Santa and create a festive frame to capture and share the joyful spirit of the season. Toast the holidays with a complimentary glass of bubbly cheer, served with hot chocolate, cookies, sandwiches, and tea.
Price: For children, $15 for members; $18 for non-members. For adults, $25 for members; $30 for non-members.
Reservations: Online www.longuevue.com.

Monte Lion's Children's Holiday Tea at The Hotel Monteleone
Dates: December 10 and 17
About: Hotel Monteleone’s loveable mascot Monte the Lion hosts his annual children’s party, along with friends Santa, Frosty, Rudolph, and the elves. Mrs. Claus will read classic Christmas tales while guests enjoy savory treats, games, and caroling as a trumpeter leads a parade. Plus, photos with Santa and a complimentary stuff Monte.
Seatings: 10am and 2pm
Pricing: $50 for adults, $36 for children.
Reservations: Online or call 504-681-4452

The Royal Teddy Bear Tea at the Royal Sonesta Hotel
Dates: December 11-23
About: Highlights include a visit from many favorite holiday characters and a parade. Guests get a select assortment of freshly prepared tea sandwiches, homemade currant buttermilk scones and breakfast breads are served with lemon cream and preserves. Christmas cookies, chocolate truffles, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and much more.
Seatings:
December 11, 12, 17, 18, 19 -- 11am and 2pm
December 20, 21, 22, and 23 -- One seating only at 11am
Pricing:
Premium Seats (closest to stage): Adults $68, kids $53
Regular Seats: Adults $58.00, kids $43.00
Prices include tax and gratuity.
Reservations: Online or at 504-553-2201

BIG SCREEN: J. Edgar (Rated R)

2011-11-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

Who in the world would’ve ever thought to cast eternally boyish Leonardo DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover, for Pete’s sake? Clint Eastwood, that’s who. And that’s why he’s a successful filmmaker. Vision.

J. Edgar tells the story of the legendary FBI director in a fragmented, but thoughtful way. It bounces back and forth from his highly ambitious, youthful beginnings with the bureau to his twilight years, when he was regularly blackmailing political foes into submission with his secret files. It also addresses his alleged mommy issues (enhanced by the usual strong performance from Judi Dench), as well as the rumors of cross-dressing and homosexuality, but with a typically light Eastwood touch. I’m pretty sure Hoover wouldn’t see it this way, but the handling of these issues comes across as downright respectful.

Most striking is DiCaprio’s physical transformation. Kudos to the makeup artists, who seamlessly age him from his 20s to his 70s, making him barely recognizable at either age. I’ll be shocked if there’s no Oscar nomination, if not win, in that department. But his performance is impressive, as well. Historical accounts have portrayed Hoover as a pretty darn unlikable guy, but DiCaprio manages to make him human. Instead of coming across as merely corrupt, we’re shown a complicated guy who genuinely can't distinguish between ego and patriotism. DiCaprio even masters and maintains that weird, early 20th century East Coast accent with its staccato delivery, a la James Cagney.

I wouldn’t exactly call J. Edgar a “great” movie, but it’s certainly a welcomed departure from your usual cookie cutter movies. It’s pretty interesting to see this rather cartoonish figure (in my estimation) in a totally different light, once he’s given some dimension and historical context.

BIG EASY: Casket Girls of New Orleans: Founding Matriarchs or Vampire Smugglers?

2011-08-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip to New Orleans’ awesome Musée Conti Wax Museum, I was introduced to a brand new topic I had never heard of before: Casket Girls.

Mwa-ha-ha! Sounds creepy, no?

Sources vary on the specifics, but the basic story is that the city’s founders asked France to send over prospective wives for the colonists. They obliged and all these young girls showed up, bearing only as many belongings as would fit in a little “casket,” which appears to be the 18th century equivalent of an overnight bag.

Some accounts say they were fine young women, some say they were orphans, some say prostitutes. Some even say they’re the ones who brought vampires to New Orleans! And, yet, I’m told New Orleanians are proud if they can trace their heritage back to these women. Prostitutes? Vampires? Intriguing!

After exhausting my online search, I decided to get to the bottom of this. So, I headed over to the Ursulines Convent, where the girls were said to have resided until the nuns could arrange for marriages. Actually… first, I headed over to Croissant d’Or, a block north on Ursulines Avenue. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t open when the mademoiselles arrived in the 1720s, which is a shame. A sublime raspberry croissant and French Market coffee might have softened the blow of arriving in what must have been a sweltering, mosquito-infested swamp-village. But, I digress.

Wouldn’t you know? I arrived at the convent, only to find it closed for the day while they installed a new exhibit (the subject: Pere Antoine. Yet, another interesting historical Crescent City character and restaurant namesake. But, as luck would have it, a friendly employee who was coming through the gate was all too happy to share her considerable knowledge about the girls.

As it turns out, yes, France had sent plenty of shady characters over to populate New Orleans. Convicts, prostitutes, and all-around ne’er-do-wells -- but not in this group. Where did all the creepy vampire stories come from? The Ursulines ambassador shared a few theories. First of all, these girls endured a long and arduous journey across the Atlantic. At best, they were pale and gaunt from traveling below-deck much of the time. At worst, they were deathly ill. A nasty case of tuberculosis could cause a girl to cough up blood – hence the vampire link? Also, their suitcases were called “casquettes,” or “caskets.” A-ha. Nothing says Nosferatu like a coffin handbag!

But, wait – what about the infamous third floor windows, said to be nailed shut to keep in (or out?) the vampires? Pish-posh. I’m told those are fully functional hurricane shutters that weren’t installed until a century after the Casket Girls’ arrival.

So, there you have it. But, just because the Casket Girls didn’t bring ‘em, doesn’t mean they’re not here. Take one Vampire Tour or a trip to the Dungeon and you’ll be convinced.

For more on the Old Urusline Convent, visit http://www.gonola.com/2011/03/30/nola-history-the-old-ursuline-convent-in-the-french-quarter.html

To find other spooky tours, visit http://www.gonola.com/2010/10/27/7198.html

(This blog post originally appeared on GoNola.com)

BIG SCREEN: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (PG-13)

2011-08-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

It would be so much easier to review this movie had I not read the book. I’d probably call it a rather bleak, Asian version of that old Bette Midler/Barbara Hershey sobfest, Beaches. Sort of lovely, but mostly just a manipulative little melodrama, designed to reduce women to tears. (Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.) But after reading Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See, it becomes clear that the filmmakers sucked all the beauty out of the original story. What a rotten shame!

The movie begins in modern day Shanghai, where a young executive named Nina (Li Bingbing) rushes to the bedside of her estranged childhood best friend, Sophia (Gianna Gun), who’s been critically injured in a traffic accident. While Sophia lies in a coma, Nina comes across a manuscript Sophia has been writing, which tells the story of an ancestor, named Snow Flower, and Lily, her laotong (a sort of arranged female friendship in which little girls pledge their love and fidelity to each other for all time). Lily marries up, Snow Flower marries down, and it creates a major problem in their relationship. Similarly, Nina’s star is on the rise, while she finds Sophia has fallen on hard times. The movie jumps back and forth from past to present, showing a parallel between the two relationships, while giving the audience a snapshot of the ancient Chinese traditions women once had to endure, including foot binding, arranged marriages, total submission, and countless other horrors.

Why the filmmakers chose to create this whole modern story line, which does not exist in the book, is truly baffling. It adds nothing to the overall tale, and it doesn’t really allow the audience to develop an intimate relationship with either pair of friends. Sadly, the movie completely missed out on most of the book’s vivid, detailed descriptions of the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions, and everything involved in the beautiful and horrible customs of ancient China. Why would they do that?! No idea.

This is definitely one of those cases where reading the book actually ruins the movie. If you’re unaware that it’s a cheap adaptation, it could serve as an excellent catharsis, should you need a good cry. Having said all that, I was grateful for the movie's cutting of corners in one instance... it took me two nights to get through the book’s description of the foot binding process. OMG! So much worse than I ever imagined. It was almost more than I could bear to read about the breaking of bones and bleeding and oozing and other horrific elements of the repugnant process that was forced upon little girls! I vowed that if they were as detailed in the movie, I’d probably have to leave. Luckily, I just had to close my eyes and plug my ears for a scant minute or so.

So, there’s that.

BIG EASY: Darwin the Dinosaur at the Contemporary Arts Center

2011-08-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

If you’re anything like me, you have the best of intentions when it comes to providing your kid(s) with creative stimulation. But, if you’re anything like me, it happens much more infrequently than you’d like. A trip to a museum here, a music class there… oh, for a little inspiration.

Well, ask and ye shall receive!

I was fortunate enough to make it to opening night of Darwin the Dinosaur at Creative Arts Center New Orleans (CACNO) on Friday night with my husband and five-year-old son. I knew very little about it, other than it was described as a “glow-in-the-dark adventure." What I imagined would be a glorified puppet show turned out to be quite an amazing and original experience for us all.

Not unlike a live-action, neon Fantasia that combines puppetry arts and movement, it’s all about mesmerizing visuals and music from a dizzying array of genres -- and no dialogue. The basic storyline is about a professor who brings a dinosaur to life and teaches him compassion, then the dinosaur sets out to discover the world on his own. He encounters beauty and danger and love and heartbreak, all wordlessly expressed by larger-than-life creatures made of electroluminescent wire. Some creatures are extensions of the performers’ bodies, some are puppets – all seem to magically levitate in the darkness.

The show itself is innovative and inspirational, but the Q&A session that follows the show really allows the audience to appreciate the group’s ingenuity and enthusiasm. Creators Ian Carney (a Tulane grad who was raised in New Orleans) and Corbin Popp met while dancing in Twyla Tharp’s Broadway show Movin’ Out. After they discovered their mutual love for art, theater and technology, they formed a partnership. Together with their wives, they began to develop puppetry-based creatures (using "EL" wire and repurposed sports equipment and home improvement items!), and Darwin was born.

The show lasts an hour and, despite the volume and intensity, even kids under the age of two seemed to enjoy themselves (I think it would've rattled my kid at that age, but every kid is different). Don’t miss out! I swear you can feel unused portions of your brain being stimulated by this delightfully unique experience!

This week’s remaining showtimes:
Friday, August 19, 7pm
Saturday, August 20, 2pm
Saturday, August 20, 7pm
Sunday, August 21, 2pm

Tickets are $18 General Admission, $15 CAC members & students, $10 for children 10 and under.

For tickets or more information, call the CAC box office at 504.528.3800 or visit http://www.cacno.org/performingarts/event/2011/08/darwin+dinosaur/index.html

BIG SCREEN: The Help (PG-13)

2011-08-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

It’s not all that often that screen adaptations live up to the original books, but, ladies and gentlemen – this one does! There are a few places where the filmmakers cut some corners where I wish they hadn’t, but overall, bravo!

The Help is the story of Eugenia "Skeeter" Phelan, a recent college graduate and social misfit in 1960s Mississippi. Her dream to become a writer and her disgust with her friends’ ill treatment of their African-American maids converge in one fabulously controversial book project. She convinces some local maids to tell her stories of their relationships with their employers – the good, the bad, and the ugly – which ultimately creates a massive firestorm in an already volatile social climate.

I highly recommend that you read the book by Kathryn Stockett first, just to get the full experience of all the details and descriptions that couldn’t possibly have all been crammed into the screenplay. But, even if you don’t, the movie succeeds for two reasons: (1) it is pretty darn faithful to the book, and (2) the casting is incredibly spot-on.

It’s hard to pick the standout performance. Emma Stone proves she’s got serious big-girl acting chops as she seamlessly steps into Skeeter’s shoes and skillfully anchors the whole movie. Allison Janney plays her long-suffering, dry-witted mother with ease, and delivers one of my favorite lines of the movie: “Love and hate are two horns on the same goat.”

Sissy Spacek is a total hoot, despite her minimal screen time (someone, please cast her in some major roles again!). Cicely Tyson – wow! Still so beautiful, with a presence that leaps off the screen, even in a subtle performance like this. Ron Howard’s daughter Bryce Dallas Howard is a scene-stealer with her fabulously over-the-top portrayal of the truly witchy Hilly. But probably the singlemost excellent performance was that of Octavia Spencer as the mouthy firecracker, Minny. Paired with Viola Davis as her much steadier best friend Aibileen, she’s allowed to really push the sassy envelope with hysterical results.

People who are squawking about how the civil rights theme is just stirring up trouble and reopening old wounds have totally missed the point. In addition to providing perspective on some horrible injustices in our not-so-distant past, it’s a sweet and witty story about humanity. If you ask me, it’s a good thing to be reminded of how stupid, petty, and destructive stereotypes and prejudice can be, and to be shown an example of people rising above it all.

It’s hilarious, it’s heartbreaking, it’s heartwarming… a good, old-fashioned Southern charmer with substance.

BIG SCREEN: Another Earth (PG-13)

2011-08-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

I like to take notes while watching a movie I plan to review. You never know if a line or detail that catches your attention might turn out to be crucial, or if some random thought that pops into your head might turn out to be a brilliant insight. In re-reading my scribbly notes on Another Earth, one line stood out: “Interesting concept, but I want to kill myself.”

Yeah. It’s a rather puzzling and bleak experience.

Rhoda Williams (played by the awesomely haunting Brit Marling) is a brilliant and beautiful teen who’s been accepted to MIT. She’s got a bright future ahead of her, but in her exuberance and youthful carelessness, she gets behind the wheel after a boozy celebration and destroys a man’s family.

Okay, so it’s a drama? A sad, cautionary tale? Not so fast.

On that very night, it’s discovered that there’s another planet, visible from ours, that turns out to be a carbon copy, with a duplicate population. Like, a person-for-person, mirror-image duplicate. Sort of like a parallel universe, except it’s a nearby planet.

A-ha. Is this really a sci-fi movie? Hold that thought.

Rhoda emerges from prison a few years later, a shell of a human being. She sleepwalks through life, and takes a job as a janitor who scrubs toilets as though she’s trying to scrub her psyche clean. In her search for some sort of, I don’t know, absolution or something, she (a) enters an essay contest to become one of the first to visit “Earth 2” and (b) winds up becoming the cleaning lady for the man (William Mapother) whose family she killed.

Of course, he has no idea who she is, and as their relationship progresses, she seems to breathe some life into his miserable existence, with the ever-present ugly truth precariously hanging overhead. Is she nuts? Is he going to go nuts? Why does she keep going back? The tension this creates is more nerve wracking than watching people get stalked by a psycho killer in a horror movie.

Which is great, if it’s a psychological thriller. But, is it? Not sure.

It’s no secret that I’m not exactly an astrophysicist or anything, but throughout the movie, I remained distracted by the sudden appearance of this other planet, so close that it’s visible to the naked eye. How did it get here? If it suddenly rocketed into our orbit, wouldn’t it throw us off our axis or screw with our gravity or something? I realized that probably wasn’t the point. So I put aside my disbelief and waited. For the point, that is.

This is a recurrent theme… the filmmakers seem to continually ask the audience to just trust them and go along for the ride. As if all will be revealed if you just resist questioning their motives and choices. Um, okay.

In the final scene, the surprising conclusion to the movie seems to finally explain the purpose of the movie, which I think is just to provide cosmic, spiritual, and/or psychological food for thought. So, all our questions are answered with… a series of new questions?

This is either really brilliant or a total cop-out. I lean toward the latter, but you be the judge.

All confusion and criticism aside, this Brit Marling girl is so stinking intriguing. She's beautiful, of course, but there's something so compelling about her -- depth? Intelligence? Well, she writes, directs, produces, and she graduated from Georgetown with a degree in economics. Yep, smart cookie.

Keep an eye on this one. Maybe someday she'll actually give the Hollywood boys' club a run for their money.

BIG SCREEN: The Smurfs

2011-07-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

When you think of Smurfs, what immediately comes to mind? 80s phenomenon? Annoying theme song? How ‘bout an international cosmetics company headed by a psychotic Latino woman? “No” on that last one? Yeah, me neither. Which is why this movie was sort of confusing to me. Perhaps I should explain.

Y’see, in this movie, Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters) and several of his little blue children find themselves lost in Manhattan after being sucked through a vortex while being chase by their nemesis, the evil wizard, Gargamel (Hank Azaria), and his conniving kitty, Azrael. Desperate to get back to their Smurfalicious world, they seek the assistance of a cosmetics industry marketing executive (Neil Patrick Harris) and his pregnant wife (Jayma Mays, who’s apparently on Glee). His effort to please his ruthless boss (Sofia Vergara) by creating a brilliant ad campaign becomes central to the plot. And I’m not really sure why. Weird, but whatever.

Other than that odd choice, filmmakers definitely adhered to the original formula. The little blue creatures, each named after their defining traits (Brainy, Grouchy… Happy, Sneezy, Doc?), have good intentions, but of course, wind up wreaking havoc. And, yes, they sing that hideous song. I’ll be honest -- the whole Smurf thing didn’t really work for me the first time around in the 80s, so I pretty much assumed that this would not exactly be my cup of tea. And I was right.

But, let’s talk about what worked: Hank Azaria’s portrayal of Gargamel, for one. I mean, is there any wacky character or voice this guy can’t handle? (I’m psyched to see his new comedy series, Free Agents, on NBC this fall, by the way.) The script didn’t give him as many funny lines as I’d like, but “Son of a Smurf!” was a pretty good one. As was “Smurf me!” uttered by a frustrated Neil Patrick Harris, who was pretty adorable (and obviously a good sport) in this role. And might I compliment Katy Perry on her portrayal of Smurfette? The girl was born to do cartoon voiceovers.

All in all, it’s pretty faithful to the original TV series, so if it floated your boat back then – or if you’re under the age of 7 – you’ll probably have a Smurftastic time. Otherwise, this is one of those “take one for the team” experiences for mom and dad.

BIG SCREEN: Friends with Benefits Revieux (Rated-R)

2011-07-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

To me, Justin Timberlake is like frozen lemonade from a can. Is it enjoyable? Yeah, if you only take a tiny spoonful at a time. But, in larger doses, it certainly needs a whole lotta diluting to make it palatable.

JT’s skits on SNL? Great. Performances as a supporting actor in movies? Not too shabby. But, a leading man in a 94-minute romantic comedy? My brain puckered at the thought. (And Mila Kunis – forever the cloying Jackie from That 70s Show in my mind – wasn’t much more appetizing.) But, I’m a good sport. I was willing to give Friends with Benefits a shot.

Here’s the story… Dylan (Timberlake) and Jamie (Kunis) become platonic pals when she, an executive headhunter, recruits him to become GQ magazine’s new art director in New York. Fresh out of rotten relationships and unwilling to get entangled in new ones, they decide to attempt the impossible. (Normally, I would let the seemingly obvious title speak for itself. But, I’m going to assume not everyone knows what the phrase means, considering a pair of geniuses brought their 10-ish-year-old kid to the screening I attended. Let’s give ‘em the benefit of the doubt and assume they didn’t know it means, “people who have sex without romantic commitment.” Oy.)

Anyway, in an ironic little wink-wink, nudge-nudge to the audience, the two bond over their shared disdain for Hollywood romantic comedies. Aren’t they clever? But, as one would imagine, they soon discover that their seemingly simple relationship is fraught with complications all its own.

Feel like you’ve seen/heard this concept half-a-billion times? I thought the issue of can you/can’t you was settled by Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes about 15 years ago. Early in the movie, I was not feeling confident they could pull this thing off – and a corny flash mob scene didn’t help. I think I actually groaned aloud. Uuuuuuuuuugh.

But, then came the first sex scene, and it was hy-ster-i-cal. Not an easy task. After a just-okay start, this sucker actually got a little traction and things really started rolling. Both actors not only prove they have solid comedic chops, but their chemistry (in both a comedic and romantic sense) is pretty powerful, too. Color me impressed, youngsters!

A couple of veteran actors up the ante even further. Patricia Clarkson (New Orleans girl!) plays Jamie’s free-spirited, free-love-advocating mom. Woody Harrelson plays Dylan’s highly gregarious gay coworker (a character that serves no real purpose in the plot, but is entertaining, nonetheless). Both turn in effervescent, scene-stealing performances that make you wish someone would cast them in bigger roles, for heaven’s sake. (Jenna Elfman and Richard Jenkins play Dylan’s sister and dad, and while they’re perfectly fine, they’re far less dynamic than the aforementioned.)

Is this movie groundbreaking territory? No way. Is it Woody-Allen-late-70s brilliant? Nope. But the dialogue is tight, the banter witty, the performances energetic. Despite my initial reservations, I actually found it kind of delightful. Like a refreshing glass of lemonade. Fresh squeezed. Minus the pucker.

BIG SCREEN: Winnie the Pooh Revieux (Rated-G)

2011-07-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Why do these reviews so often start with a confession? Okay, here’s this week’s: I was fighting multiple layers of cynicism before this movie even started. I was close to $30 in the hole for snacks and admission to a 69-minute movie that was probably going to bore and/or annoy me out of my gourd. (I’ve been nominated for “Mother of the Year” for my selflessness on multiple occasions, doncha know?) Add to it that my son, the kindergarten grifter, admitted to me after the purchase of the aforementioned sugary snacks that he had, in fact, consumed a sno-ball and two packs of Starburst at camp before I picked him up. I was in a great mood at this point, lemme tell you.

With black cloud firmly in place over my head, I sat back and dared this movie to even remotely entertain me. It’s a good thing it’s dark in there, because man, was I rolling my eyes over the plot. First of all, that perpetually complaining downer, Eeyore (who I actually love and can relate to, for obvious reasons), has lost his tail and needs everyone’s help finding it. Secondly, Pooh is desperately in search of “hunny,” but no one cares. And, finally, Christopher Robin has left a note that the essentially illiterate animals misinterpret. Instead of reading that he’ll “be back soon,” that know-it-all Owl tells them he’s been kidnapped by the “Backson” monster. Genius, no? Ugh. I’ll never make it, I thought.

But a curious thing happened as the movie progressed. Little children, including my own, began giggling hysterically at this simple-minded, uninventive, two-dimensional little filmette. They’re laughing? They’re enjoying it? How can that be? There’s no burping, no fart jokes, no pies in the faces. No C.G.I. trickery, nor fancy car chases. And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say -- that the grumpy mom's small heart grew three sizes that day…

Yes, it was like I was sitting atop a giant sleigh full of Christmas, watching the Who’s celebrate the true meaning of Pooh Bear. Suddenly, even I found myself laughing with the kiddies over stuff, like the following exchange:

Rabbit: Can you tie a knot?
Piglet: Um, I can *not* knot.
Rabbit: Not knot?
Pooh: Who's there?

I finally chilled out and saw that the beauty of this movie lies in its simplicity and sense of tradition. Eeyore, Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Owl, and of course, Tigger -- they all look and sort of sound the same as they did 30+ years ago. There’s a certain level of comfort in that kind of nostalgia. Especially when little kids, who are being raised on electronic devices and high-tech everything, still love it. And, I mean, when’s the last time you saw an actual G-Rated movie?

Somehow, I missed the fact that John Cleese narrates and Craig Ferguson voices Owl, or maybe I would’ve snapped out of my grouchy funk a little sooner. I did, however, recognize that coolness personified, Ms. Zooey Deschanel (Jovie from the movie Elf and singer from the duo She & Him), was singing some of the Pooh tunes. That probably helped propel me out of the crankiness a little, too.

Bottom line: it’s a beautiful thing. Straight out of an old A.A. Milne book with no bells and whistles. If your kid digs it, maybe there’s still hope for this next generation. If you still dig it, maybe you haven’t lost your soul to the Dark Lord of Parental Cynicism, afterall.

BIG SCREEN: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 in 3D Revieux (Rated PG-13)

2011-07-15T00:53:00.000-07:00

I ‘spose I should preface this by admitting that I’ve not read all the Harry Potter books. Just the first one. And, though I’ve seen all the movies, I do not possess intimate, detailed knowledge of every magical, Muggly, Hogwartsian term. Nor can I chart the relation of one obscure character to the next and back again. I do, however, really dig the movies.

In this, the eighth and final installment, Harry, Hermione, and Ron (Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint) continue their quest to find and destroy the final “Horcruxes,” objects containing fragments of evil Voldemort’s soul, which is supposed to result in the destruction of the Dark Lord (Ralph Fiennes). From the opening scene, there’s an eery, sinister sense of foreboding that never really lets up. Many characters from previous Potter films show up for this grand finale, and while it adds a sweet layer of nostalgia, the audience is well-aware that none of them are safe. Nerve. Wracking.

Just as we’ve watched the young stars mature over the years, so have the films themselves. Much of the levity and wonderment in the earlier films are cast aside in order to create this serious, ominous mood. I really don’t want to reveal much more (especially for my fellow clueless non-readers), other than to say a lot of loose ends are tied up, the battle between good and evil is truly epic, the special effects are mindboggling and often highly disturbing (not sure my 5-year-old could’ve handled it), and the emotional conclusion is deeply satisfying. (Even the 3D is done right! No hokey pandering to the camera, it just enhances the whole experience!)

I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t read the books first, especially the final one. There’s no way filmmakers can translate every detail from the written page onto the screen, and I’d hate for any missing elements or minor plot changes to distract me from this amazing movie.

While I’m not nearly as emotionally invested in the films and the characters as true, rabid Potter fans and kids who have grown up with both the book and movie series, I still found myself very choked up multiple times. I also found myself flinching, gripping the arms of my chair, and holding my breath. Really, what more can you ask of a movie?

So, yeah -- wow. Pure movie magic. Sad to see the series end, but what a way to go!

BIG SCREEN: Incendies Revieux

2011-07-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to write with your opposite hand – just to see if you could do it? Turns out, it’s not only a challenging exercise, but it actually stimulates the growth of new brain cells. I have a theory that watching foreign films does the same thing. I bring this up because I recently saw my first foreign film in about eight years. Believe it or not, there was one year, back in my full-time movie reviewing days in the late 90s, when I saw every single Oscar-nominated film, including short form and foreign. Then I got married and had a baby, and I was lucky if I got to see anything that didn’t start off with a shot of Cinderella’s castle.

So, how fortuitous that my first foray back into the genre was with such a good and highly decorated film. Incendies is a French-Canadian film about two generations deeply affected by the Lebanese Civil War of the 1970s and 80s. Upon a Lebanese woman’s death in Quebec, her adult children find out the strange contents of their mother’s will, and the even more bizarre and cryptic letters of instruction she’s left behind. To understand it all, they have to return to their mother’s homeland and discover the brutal truth behind her true identity. It’s a rather epic odyssey that switches back and forth from the daughter’s modern-day search, to her mother’s horrific experience decades earlier.

In the first few minutes of the film, I was really wishing I’d done a little research on the political and religious backdrop. Who was who and why they were being persecuted, and by whom? It was a little confusing to my feeble brain. But as the story progressed, all the necessary pieces began to fall into place.

I hate that my twisted mind jumped ahead and figured out the disturbing twist to the story (I’m still undecided if this is my gift or curse), but I was still dying to see how it unfolded. And it didn’t disappoint. Just so we’re clear, I’m certainly no high-minded intellectual who frequents foreign films, then sits around chain smoking and sucking down espresso in coffeehouses while engaging in a heated discussion with other sophisticates. So, when a subtitled movie grabs my attention and keeps me riveted, I know they’ve done something right that transcends the language barrier. The story is both beautiful and horrifying, and the performances are really powerful.

I know, I know. Foreign films aren’t for everybody. But it is cool to see how the longer you watch the movie, the more your brain is able to simultaneously process the subtitles, images and even the nuances of the actors’ performances – and, voila! You’re a little smarter. Or so I’d like to think.

BIG EASY: The Running of the Bulls

2011-07-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this city? I knew for sure I’d moved to the right place when last year, one month after our arrival, my husband and I discovered San Fermin in Nueva Orleans, aka, The Running of the Bulls. Yep. Right here in New Orleans.

Have you heard of this phenomenon? (I accidentally typed “herd,” but thought I'd spare you the unintentional bad pun. You’re welcome.) Every July since 2007, a bunch of wacky party people, dressed in all manner of Spanish-y, bullfighteresque, and/or Elvis-related attire, have been celebrating the historic Spanish festival by meeting at the crack of dawn to have some cocktails, then embark on an 8am run through the streets of New Orleans, while being chased by roller derby girls armed with foam or plastic bats. Yes, the Big Easy Roller Girls don horns and become… da bulls. And, yes, they taunt and smack the runners, who enjoy every second of it.

When we happened upon it last year, we wondered why the heck more people don’t attend this awesome, crazy fest! Well, apparently, the word is out. Last year’s ragtag group of hundreds (my estimate) who gathered in a remote section of the Quarter, exploded into a mob of 10,000 (their estimate) this year in the CBD! Holy smokes!

We arrived in the vicinity of the starting/finish line outside Ernst Café on S. Peters Street a little before 7am on Saturday. As expected, the joint was already hopping. Sangria, wine, and beer were flowing, a stage was set up, music was cranking, and crazily costumed revelers were milling about as far as the eye could see.

There were drummers drumming, buglers bugling, ladies dancing, lords a-leaping. You name it. Finally, a Grand Poobah of sorts, decked out in a papalish, feathered ensemble, called the crowd to order and led some irreverent pre-run prayers in a wonderfully booming, Renaissance Fair delivery. The crowd ate it up! An effigy of Saint Fermin was paraded through the crowd, then it was time for the main event.

When the announcement came for the bulls and the “drunken monkeys,” aka, runners, came over the PA, we found ourselves caught in the crush of the teeming masses, and unable to see any of the actual run! (We’ve already formulated a better plan for next year.) So, we people-watched/shuffled our way toward the last stretch of the course to witness the final gauntlet. Oh, the gauntlet. See, they send the runners and bulls out in chunks, so when each group of bulls returns, they begin forming a gauntlet through which the runners must pass.

Amazingly enough, there were kids there, too. (Can you see the tiny mustache on the baby in this picture?!) Some were actually running, some in strollers… we, however, shipped ours off to Grandma. When they’re too big to ride on shoulders, yet small enough to get trampled, it just ain’t worth it to me to fight this kind of crowd. Plus, y’know, I wanted to suck down some sangria. But to each his own.

Obviously, the bulls took it easy on the munchkins, but it was open season on adults. We were most impressed by one “Mary Choppins,” a lovely bull whose butt-smacking technique was both elegant and brutal (that's her, pictured below). There were many clever roller girl nicknames, and I’ve been kicking around ideas for my own. I can’t decide between “Yosemite Slam” and “Buster Chops.” Get it? “Bust her” – oh, nevermind.

The run is actually only one element in the entire, four-day San Fermin Festival. There were parties and wine dinners and Ernest Hemingway look-alikes. But we really only had the energy (and babysitting) for the run on Saturday. Such is the life of the middle-aged parents.

If I ever were to go to Pamplona for the “official” Running of the Bulls, I image I’d still watch from the sidelines, as I do for the local one. I’d probably still drink plenty of sangria, too. But, while I’d probably get a serious adrenaline rush in anticipation of seeing someone get gored to death before my very eyes, I doubt it would be as silly, fun, and irreverent as the New Orleans edition! But, ain't that always the case?! We are so spoiled living in this fun-lovin' town!

Olé!

PS -- I'm happy to report that no one in my group has experienced any sort of blindness or death as a result of that last cup of sangria we purchased from strangers selling it out of a cooler on the sidewalk. *Shudder*

For more information on the San Fermin in Nueva Orleans/The Running of the Bulls, visit http://www.nolabulls.com/.

BIG SCREEN: Horrible Bosses Revieux (Rated R)

2011-07-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

After two great, girl-powered comedies in a row (Bridesmaids and Bad Teacher), I guess it’s time to let the boys have their fun with Horrible Bosses. It stars Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day as three working stiffs whose lives are being made miserable by, you guessed it, their horrible bosses. When they all simultaneously reach their breaking point, the trio makes a pact to kill those bosses. With the help of a menacing thug (Jamie Foxx), they come up with a foolproof plan that’s just bound to go smoothly. Right? Just as you’d expect, it disintegrates into chaotic, madcapped hijinks, as all buddy comedies do.

Great as they are with the quips and seemingly off-the-cuff little remarks, Bateman and Sudeikis could easily have been replaced with, say, Vince Vaughn and Paul Rudd. But Charlie Day is another story. If you watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (as my husband does), you’re quite familiar with this guy. For the rest of us, he’s a total unknown, which is actually refreshing. Next to his co-stars’ much more understated, sarcastic performances, his high-pitched, neurotic, borderline hysteria makes him the standout. Sort of like Steve Carell without the baggage of recognition from previous high profile characters. It's fun to discover great new comedic talent, isn't it?

You know how they say in real estate, it’s all about location location location? Well, this movie is all about casting casting casting. The writing is silly enough, but without the actors they chose to play the bosses, I don’t think it would’ve worked so well. The role of the psycho, man-eating, nymphomaniac boss could’ve been played well by a multitude of sultry actresses, but seeing girl-next-door, romantic-comedy-princess Jennifer Aniston in the role just elevates it to another level. Shock value, maybe? Kevin Spacey’s character is especially evil, which isn’t really a stretch for him, but when he laughs so hysterically and convincingly in Jason Bateman’s face for referring to his dead grandmother as “Gam-Gam,” he shows his true genius. But, best of all… Colin The-hottest-badboy-Irishman-on-the-planet Ferrell as a disgusting, fat, sloppy, heartless cokehead with a horrific comb-over? Pure. Comedy. Gold.

Will it be ranked among the funniest films ever? Nah. But I’m a sucker for a movie with a strong cast whose sole mission is to crack you up. No message, no moral, no attempt to win any awards. Everybody looked like they had an absolute blast making this, and that energy certainly carries over into the audience.

Just fun!

BIG SCREEN: Zookeeper Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-07-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

Of all the movies coming out this summer, for some odd reason, my 5-year-old has been most excited about Zookeeper. Moreso than Cars or even Kung Fu Panda. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times he’s reenacted a scene from the trailer between Kevin James and a monkey. “How long have you been able to talk?” “Let’s see, today is Tuesday, so… forever!” Cracks him up everytime. I managed to stop myself from warning him about how some movies put all their funny stuff in the commercials. I figure he’s got plenty of time to become as cynical and jaded as dear old mom.

So, the premise. Kevin James plays a dedicated zookeeper named Griffin who lavishes the animals with all kinds of individual attention and works alongside a lovely girl named Kate (Rosario Dawson), in whom he inexplicably shows absolutely no interest. When his beautiful but shallow ex-girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), who brutally declined his elaborate marriage proposal five years earlier, reenters his life, all the zoo animals love Griffin so much that they decide to let him in on their being-able-to-speak secret in order to give him romantic advice. This advice includes peeing on stuff and cutting her off from the herd. When she gives him another chance, he has to decide if it’s worth it to leave the zoo to become the man Stephanie wants him to be, or stay true to himself. (I’m sure you’re just dying to know which one he chooses…)

Okay, may I be blunt? This movie stunk like the stuff the monkey suggested Griffin throw at Stephanie’s other suitor. I hate to say it, because I actually had hopes for this movie. I used to love Kevin James’ standup routines, and it just seemed like a slam-dunk to pair his priceless, subtle expressions and physical comedy with outrageous animal antics. But it wasn’t. What happened? For one thing, even the most basic sight-gags fell flat. How can watching a wolf teach a dude how to mark his territory not elicit a huge guffaw from the audience? Because it was so terribly executed, that's how. Another reason for the overall failure? A bunch of TV writers, Adam Sandler (one of the producers), and the director from The Wedding Singer decided to take the same basic premise from The Wedding Singer and broaden the audience to include middle-schoolers by slapping on a little Dr. Doolittle action, and as you can imagine from that description, it didn't work. My son hardly laughed, I hardly laughed. Who were they aiming for? Were they even trying? Because they managed to miss both demograhics completely.

And the animal antics this movie seemed to promise? Lame and decidedly not hilarious. Even when an animated or talking-animal movie’s not so great, usually I love playing “Guess who’s doing the voice overs?” I got Cher and Sly Stallone as the lions pretty easily (though, they were given no awesome lines nor opportunities to parody themselves. Really?!). Nick Nolte as the gorilla and Jon Favreau as one of the bears weren’t too tough to guess, either. As for the rest of them, well, to tell you the truth – they were so annoying, I just didn’t care. It actually sounded like they grabbed people off the street and told them to simply tighten up their throats and read through the script. I never would have guessed that Adam Sandler was the monkey, as it sounded like a really bad Gilbert Gottfried impression. And Maya Rudolph as the giraffe? A really lethargic Wanda Sykes-ish knockoff.

Wow. Disappointing.

On the bright side, the closing credits and outtakes are sort of funny. So, if you stick it out through the whole movie, at least there’s that.

BIG EASY: Degas in New Orleans

2011-07-05T11:54:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I came across this really cool kids’ art book at the library called, “The Usborne Art Treasury: Pictures, Paintings, and Projects,” by Rosie Dickins. It includes brief stories about some well-known artists’ lives and techniques, vibrant images of their work, and corresponding projects with step-by-step instruction. I was so excited when I found it! Which is why it sat around my house for months while I renewed it 20 times before I could figure out exactly how I wanted to use it. Finally, my son and I found ourselves in a camp/activity lull last week, and there’s nothing like a bored five-year-old to motivate a mom.

We randomly dove into the Vincent Van Gogh project first. Thick, swirly paint, the story of a dude who goes crazy and cuts his ear off? I was correct in assuming this would be a big hit with my son. But as I skimmed through the book, I came across a section on Edgar Degas and the light bulb popped up over my head. Degas lived in New Orleans for a while – field trip possibilities! Yes!

First we headed on over to the New Orleans Museum of Art (on a Wednesday afternoon, of course, because it’s free!), to visit a few real-live Degas pieces. Our project was going to involve pastels, so checking out the smudgy technique was of particular interest.

The next day we swung by the Degas House at 2306 Esplanade Avenue in Mid-City. The half-hour film they show before the tours is quite interesting for adults – not so much for squirmy kids (thank goodness for Bakugan and pen and paper). It tells of a French artist in a midlife/identity crisis who seeks a temporary change of scenery at his mother’s Creole family home in New Orleans. Problem was, it was 1872 and New Orleans was in the middle of the miserable Reconstruction, so it wasn’t exactly a party town. Yet, Degas found inspiration in our fair city, creating several classic paintings here, then returning to France and launching a revolutionary new art movement with his fellow impressionists.

Oh, and after he left, his stupid brother ran off with some ol' hussy neighbor, leaving behind his blind wife, Estelle, the subject in many of Degas’ works (pictured below, on the balcony of the Degas House), and his children. An uncle adopted the kids and changed their names to Musson, forever severing that branch of the Degas family in New Orleans. Years later, they wound up dividing the house in half, much like the family! Today, it’s two separate buildings that serve as a bed and breakfast, museum, and event facility. Each guest room is dedicated to a member of the family who lived there, and you can see the actual backdrops for some of Degas’ paintings around the property.

We did a DIY tour, out of squirmy-little-boy necessity, and I was able to summarize the film as we explored the house. He actually retained some of the information from the film on his own, but was disappointed that Degas didn’t engage in any self-mutilation, a la Van Gogh, but what are ya gonna do?

Our abridged tour was fun and all, but I’m totally planning to schedule a breakfast/tour with my mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law, which includes a Creole breakfast, bloody mary or mimosa, AND a tour conducted by Degas’ real-live grandnieces! How cool is that?! They also have Tuesday “Bottles and Brushes with Degas” events, which include a social hour followed by painting instruction.

Our next stop was, of course, Café Degas, which is just a few blocks north at 3127 Esplanade, in the Bayou St. John district. What a quaint little joint! It feels like a cross between a treehouse and a Parisian café. Most of it is “outside” on a covered deck, thankfully enclosed with plastic and air-conditioned in the summertime. There’s a tree growing right through the middle and each table is covered by a white table cloth, adorned with sparkly Chambord-bottle flower vases, and surrounded by charmingly shabby white wrought iron chairs. My son’s not much on fromage or La Salade Niçoise, so we just split the Dark Chocolate Decadence dessert – ooh la la! Unfortunately, the boy wolfed down much of it while I perused the amazing menu. The brunch and cocktail/wine selections were especially appealing to me. Just saying, “Châteauneuf-du-Pape” makes me want to brush up on my French and renew my passport! Or, y'know, at least plan a foofy girlie lunch or romantic date night.

Finally, we headed home to start on our project: “Pastel Dancers.” I had the soft pastels covered, but wouldn’t you know we were out of dark construction paper? (It's wise to review the supply list before getting started.) Oh, well – we made due with some sort of rough watercolor paper from our craft bin and dove into the chalky, messy, smudgy goodness. I wondered if my son would fight me on the ballerina subject matter, but I think after learning so much about the male artist who created the masterpieces, gender issues never came up. YES! Once again, I think it’s about hitting that window early!

For more information on the places we visited, please go to:
http://www.noma.org/
http://www.degashouse.com/
http://www.cafedegas.com/

BIG EASY: Butterfly Tea Party at the Windsor Court Hotel

2011-06-25T02:43:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve had an unnatural affinity for fancy hotels. Not upscale boutiques or snooty country clubs, but fancy hotels. It’s a bonus if I’m an actual guest, but merely enjoying their luxurious lobbies, lounges, and cafes gives me a lovely contact high that can last for days. Who knows why? Perhaps it’s weird residual past-life stuff, but the Oak Room at the Plaza in New York is like my own personal Mecca. So, when I moved to New Orleans and discovered the abundance of beautiful hotels, I fell even more deeply in love with the city.

Naturally, when I heard the Windsor Court Hotel and the Audubon Insectarium were co-hosting a “Butterfly Tea,” I was drawn to it like… well, a moth to a flame (lame, sorry). I’m also well aware that I have a very small window before my five-year-old son (a) starts really distinguishing between “boy” events and “girl” events, (b) stops wanting to hang out with mommy, and (c) is past the point of learning proper manners expected of guests at the aforementioned fancy hotels that mommy loves so much. So, I have to strike while the iron’s hot with stuff like this!

I found it both amusing and telling that when we pulled into the quaint courtyard, I had to convince my son it was quite okay to leave the car in the care of the valet – he’d bring it back. (Yeah, gotta get out more!) But it turned into a good lesson in etiquette and protocol later when I let him be the one to present the valet with our claim ticket and to tip him when he delivered the car. My brief tutorial on tipping servers and service staff probably went right over his head, but it doesn’t hurt to plant the seed early, right?

Cheerful doormen ushered us into the lobby where a photographer encouraged us to pose in front of giant butterfly image. The photo was presented to us later at our tables as a little bonus. Very sweet. After we took a short, exploratory stroll around the vast lobby to check out its oil paintings and regal decor, they began seating the guests. In addition to delicate china place settings, each table was adorned with a plexiglass case containing a pretty little bouquet nestled in a bed of Spanish moss with several live butterflies clinging to the blooms. Ours were a bit lethargic for my son’s taste, as he repeated a thousand times, but I felt giving the case a violent shake might be viewed as a bit tacky.

So, he settled for a visit to the Insectarium’s little display table to check out some pink katydids (my very favorite bug at the Insectarium), an intimidating-looking Indonesian beetle, a mantis, and a pair of display cases filled with lots of pinned-down moths and butterflies. The ladies manning the table were not only very knowledgeable, but very patient as they deftly handled the endless barrage of questions thrown at them by inquisitive little party guests. No shortage of curiosity in that bunch!

For this particular Afternoon Tea, Windsor Court's Le Salon offered a special children’s service, which included butterfly-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a chocolate chip scone, colorfully iced butterfly cookies, and huge chocolate-covered strawberries. Adults had their choice of the “Classic” or “Royal” tea services. But, dahhhhling, for $8 more, who wouldn’t go for the Royal Tea which, in addition to the standard scones, tea sandwiches, and sweets, includes both smoked salmon and caviar canapés, AND your choice of a glass of sherry, champagne or chardonnay? I mean, reeeally!

(Note: Keep in mind for future grown-up ladies’ events, they also have a lengthy menu of amazingly decadent-sounding “sparkling wine cocktails,” with names like “Cerulean Sky” and “Sparkling Mint Julep.” Who’s free tomorrow night?!)

After scanning the sizable tea menu packed with lovely and detailed descriptions, I settled on the jasmine tea with its heavenly perfume. We’re talking serious ooh la la here, people. Of course, they offered lemonade as a tea alternative for the kids. I love that my son requested that I pour his into a dainty teacup, then suggested a toast: “One for all, and all for one!” Oh, why the heck not, right? But I convinced him that a light tap would probably be more prudent than slamming our cups together like a couple of pirates.

I have to say, I was incredibly pleased with the boy’s overall manners – and it seemed to be contagious. Not a single wild outburst from anyone the whole time we were there. I have to believe that, in addition to outstanding parenting, the elegant environment somehow must have influenced the youngsters. With the piano softly playing theme songs from children’s movies in the background (nice touch!), my son and I chatted, we nibbled, we sipped, we even laughed ‘til we cried at one point! (Okay, I’ll fess up. After one of his many complaints about the sleepy butterflies, I quite absentmindedly suggested maybe they were getting ready to turn into caterpillars. I have no excuse for such an idiotic statement, but much hilarity ensued, so it was worth it.)

Our server was very sweet and attentive throughout our visit, so at the conclusion of the tea, I decided to let it slide when she quite innocently said, “Oh, you’re all done? Most people have to take some home with them.” Hm. I was thinking, “Lady, I saved up all my daily calories for this. Be glad I didn’t lick the lemon curd right out of the dainty little bowl!” (I said I was thinking it, I didn't actually say it. Manners, y'know.)

Hours later, my son was sweaty and disgusting in his permanently stained baseball uniform, and I was cheering for him from the bleachers. Gotta love the yin and yang!

If you weren’t able to make it to this particular event, you’re in luck! Next month, on Friday, July 29th and Saturday, July 30th, the Windsor Court will be hosting a “Princess Tea.” Crown-shaped goodies, royal martinis, royal purple lemonade, royal decorations, and a crown for each princess? I might have to borrow someone’s little girl for this one!

For reservations, call 504-596-4773 or visit http://www.windsorcourthotel.com/.

For more information on the Audubon Insectarium, visit http://www.auduboninstitute.org/visit/insectarium.

BIG SCREEN: Cars 2 Revieux (Rated G)

2011-06-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

I can’t even begin to estimate how many times I watched the first Cars movie between 2007-2008. Around the time my son turned two, he fell in love with the DVD and so did we, because it was the only thing that made him remain somewhat still. Ever. He was also a terrible eater, so nightly dinner screenings bought us a calm, quiet mealtime for many months. (Don’t judge. It saved our sanity, and never fear -- we broke him of the habit by age three.)

You’d think that after hundreds of viewings, I would’ve grown to hate it, but I honestly never did. Why? I guess it was the perfect balance of humor, sweetness, and nostalgia. The story was fairly simple, but the message was strong and the characters were so stinkin’ loveable. Movie magic! When I heard that the sequel was going to take place in Europe and feature a spy story, I feared they were overreaching. And I was right.

In Cars 2, Tow Mater (still Larry the Cable Guy) accompanies Lightning McQueen (still Owen Wilson) as he crosses the Atlantic to race on the European circuit. Through a series of mishaps, Mater is mistaken for a secret agent and has the opportunity to prove he’s not just a silly jalopy who exists for everyone else’s amusement. The legendary Michael Caine voices Finn McMissile, a suave Aston Martin/British Agent and Emily Mortimer (Shutter Island) plays his associate Holly Shiftwell, a purple Bond-girlish car that can fly. The old supporting cast sort of pops up at the beginning and end, but they serve no real purpose.

Here’s the deal, I totally understand ramping everything up to extreme levels with the third or fourth installment of a franchise, when they run out of ideas – but, for number two? Oy. They couldn’t come up with a storyline a little closer to home, with just a hint of the aforementioned sweetness and nostalgia?

Doc is gone. No explanation. Obviously we all know Paul Newman’s passing made it impossible to reprise that character, but they totally gloss over his absence. What a missed opportunity to have made this an integral part of the movie, somehow teaching kids to mourn the loss of someone while honoring their memory.

Or, how about this: with the influx of traffic and tourists that pour in after Lightning relocated his headquarters to Radiator Springs, everyone in town goes all slick and high-tech and commercial, then somehow they realize they have to simplify and regain their small-town camaraderie. Maybe?

Sigh. Instead we mindlessly trek around the world with jet cars and espionage and big oil vs. alternative fuel (I kid you not). The young ‘uns will like the action and the smattering of giggle-worthy jokes, but I doubt they’ll want to wear the DVD out, like with the old one. And the adults will miss certainly the emotional connection the original movie inspired. No heartstrings are tugged. No eyes become remotely misty. What a shame.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Bad Teacher Revieux (Rated R)

2011-06-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

Cameron Diaz must have thought she’d died and gone to heaven when she read this script. I can’t imagine a more fun, liberating role to play than a really bad girl with few-to-no redeeming qualities. JACKPOT!

Her character, Elizabeth Halsey, is a trash-mouthed, hard-drinking, dope-smoking gold digger who got into teaching for all the wrong reasons, and is desperate to get right back out. When she gets dumped by her sugar daddy/fiancé, her priorities become: (a) lie, cheat and steal to raise money for breast implants (b) land the wealthy new substitute teacher (Justin Timberlake), and (c) make life miserable for her nemesis, an annoying, overly enthusiastic fellow teacher (Lucy Punch).

Notice that neither teach nor encourage her students appears on that list.

If you don’t like raunchy humor, you may as well just cut to my Cars 2 review right now. It’s alright, we won’t judge you for being tasteful!

Okay, for the rest of you, I can think of pretty much nothing I didn’t love about this movie. Yes, yes -- by day I’m a G-rated mommy who watches my language, minds my manners, and sets a good example for my little boy. But, man, there’s nothing like a good, uncensored hour-and-a-half of naughty humor to ease the tension. You remember movies like this from the 80s: Porky’s, Animal House, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Bad Teacher's very cool 80s soundtrack underscores the similarities, by the way). But the difference is, the adult humor is perpetrated by the adults, not the teens, so we don’t have to feel like pervs watching it. And – most importantly – the leader of the raunchiness is a woman. I think it’s a first in this particular genre, and Diaz does us proud. She totally embraces the role and delivers, big time.

A major part of why this movie is so great is the amazing, amazing casting. All the supporting actors and actresses are as ideally suited to their roles as Diaz, and they totally commit to their characters. In addition to Timberlake, who’s not afraid to play a repressed little worm (did this add to the appeal for ex-girlfriend Cameron?!), and Punch, who goes delightfully over-the-top and borderline psychotic, Jason Segal adds a slightly Judge Reinhold/Brad Hamiltonesque quality to his portrayal of the lovable gym teacher who totally has Elizabeth’s number. But, next to Cameron Diaz, the star of the show has got to be Phyllis Smith, aka, Phyllis from The Office. She plays a self-conscious, nervous fellow teacher who inexplicably gravitates toward Elizabeth, takes on a sort of awkward sidekick role, and delivers some of the greatest lines in the movie.

Dudes will enjoy this movie, too, but, really, it’s let-your-hair-down, girls’-night-out perfection. On par with – and maybe even a shade funnier than -- Bridesmaids. Yeah, I said it!

Keep those funny-lady-driven comedies coming, Hollywood!

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: Musee Conti Wax Museum of New Orleans

2011-06-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

…did you know there was one?! Even friends of mine who’ve lived here forever did not. I’ve passed it many times on Conti in the Quarter and have always been curious. And what better time than summer to hit some of the off-the-beaten-path local attractions that your kids haven’t had time to get sick of?

So, yes, once again I used my 5-year-old son as a guinea pig -- all in the name of science. I made sure not to hype it up too much, as I really had no idea what to expect. The museum is located in a super quiet, super sleepy back part of the Quarter, which adds to the mystique – and makes street parking a breeze. How often can you say that about this neighborhood?!

Before we began our self-guided tour (guided group/school tours are also available), we got a glimpse of their upstairs event facility. It’s a huge space with sky-high ceilings, exposed brick, a stage, two bars, and tons of tables and fancy gold chairs. Please invite me if you rent this place for an event. I love the idea of having a party at a wax museum… and I really need a reason to dress up. Sigh.

Anyway, on with the wax. This joint is awesomely dark and musty, as a wax museum in a historic building should be. It’s made up of four long halls lined with stalls that depict various events and characters significant to New Orleans’ history and lore. Instead of being merely displayed, most of the wax figures are staged within either uniquely characteristic situations or specific historical events. A plaque, or series of plaques, is posted in front of each stall, explaining the back story of each scene.

Of course, they cover all the usual suspects: pirate Jean Lafitte’s infamous meeting with Andrew Jackson, the Battle of New Orleans, Marie Laveau accepting payment from a bride seeking a little voodoo marital insurance, Mark Twain on a riverboat, Mardi Gras stuff, etc. Oh, and there's Napoleon, sitting in a bathtub (pictured, at top) as he explains to his brother and advisers how he made the Louisiana Purchase deal without consulting anyone else. We both got a huge kick out of this one -- especially the strategically placed sponge.

But, the very best part was the stuff that I’d never heard of before. Like the “Casket Girls” (pictured, right). Are you familiar? Apparently, the governor of Louisiana asked France to send over some prospective wives for the soldiers and city planners as New Orleans was in its infancy, and France obliged. Teenage girls made the long voyage over, each bearing only a small wooden casket of belongings, and were housed at the Ursuline Convent while the nuns arranged their marriages. Just as many Bostonians pride themselves on tracing their families back to the Mayflower, many New Orleanians feel similarly about the Casket Girls, according to the plaque. Hm. Seems slightly creepy, but it’s fascinating, nonetheless!

Down another hall, two guys in a boxing ring accompany the tidbit that Louisiana was the first state to legalize prize fighting. And gamblers gathered around an antique craps table (pictured, left) serve as the backdrop for the story of how the game allegedly got its name. The local Americans referred to the Creoles as frogs, or crapaud, which was shortened to become the name of the dice game that the warring factions both happened to adore.

I’m a total trivia geek, so of course I totally dug this place, but I was shocked that my son was not only into the eerie wax figures, but actually interested in my synopsis of each scene. I made them quite brief, of course, but still! This is an unusual and excellent way to add a little dimension to the boring textbook accounts of New Orleans history.

And, ps -- there's a surprise, random, creepy-gory dungeon hall at the very end, featuring everything from a Freddy Krueger figure to scenes from Edgar Allen Poe stories. Not sure if it's to serve as a treat for well-behaved kids, or a threat for the naughty ones...

For more information on the New Orleans Wax Museum, please visit http://www.neworleanswaxmuseum.com/.

BIG SCREEN: Green Lantern Revieux (PG-13)

2011-06-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

I’m not a huge sci-fi fan, but I’ve been curious about this Green Hornet movie for a while. Mostly because it seems like they were filming here in New Orleans forever, so as childish as it is, I was curious to see if the scenes we witnessed made the final cut. Oh, and because the trailers looked relatively cool.

So, this Green Lantern comic book phenomenon – I thought I was familiar with the concept, but I think my feeble mind was confusing it with Green Hornet. (My apologies, comic book geeks of earth.) Apparently, “Green Lantern” refers to a whole legion of intergalactic policemen who have lantern-powered rings that allow them to conjure up stuff when they get in a jam. Have I sufficiently irritated GL fans with my lackluster description?! Whatever.

In the movie, Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds, Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place... Google this 90s sitcom gem) is a rebellious, death-defying test pilot who’s haunted by the memory of watching his dad, a celebrated pilot back in his day, die in a fiery jet crash. While he’s battling his demons and his inability to commit to anything, let alone former/soon-to-be-current love interest and fellow pilot, Carol Ferris (Blake Lively, Gossip Girl), there’s a cosmic showdown happening between the Green Lantern corps and an evil, giant space leviathan called Parallax. After it kills a mighty Green Lantern warrior, the fallen dude’s ring chooses Hal as a replacement. Parallax soon descends upon Earth and Hal must conquer his fears if he’s to save the planet, and perhaps, even the universe.

Alright, gotta tell you – I was pretty much ready to leave after the first 10 minutes of this movie. First of all, the 3-D was completely screwed up. Everything was jerky and distorted – and actually slightly better without the glasses. But the technical glitch wasn’t the only problem. The story was hokey, the dialogue was weak, and the acting was just awful! Blake Lively was anything but (lively, that is), and, despite the smokin’ bod and sexy perma-stubble, Ryan Reynolds was like a broken record with his trademark overly ironic delivery of every single line.

UGH! It was not looking good.

But, not long after the 3-D glitch was resolved, the movie seemed to sort of hit its stride. The romantic subplot was still lame and distracting (I hated that aspect of Spiderman, too – is this a chick flick or an action movie?!), but the spectacular special effects and fight sequences finally kicked in, as did the overall excitement. Really cool to look at. And Peter Sarsgaard (Dead Man Walking, Boys Don’t Cry, husband to Maggie Gyllenhaal) kicks some tail in his seriously creepy performance as a scientist who becomes infected by Parallax and transforms into a bubble-foreheaded psychopath.

Overall, content: flimsy. Visuals: cool. Cool enough to warrant a trip to the theater? I think so. But I suppose it depends on your priorities/mood/state of mind/standards. I have no concept of how this is being received by hardcore Green Lantern fans, as I don't speak geek, but I'm sure it will be excellent fodder for Comic-Con panel discussions. (Hm, I just might qualify as a geek for knowing what that is.)

FYI… some of the scenes where the Parallax sucks the life out of its victims were actually a little on the intense side. My five-year-old son is pretty tough and fearless when it comes to movies. He can handle the occasional PG-13 flick, but I’m thinking he’s not quite ready for this one.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Mr. Popper’s Penguins Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-06-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read the book Mr. Popper’s Penguins, by Richard and Florence Atwater? I hadn’t, so I ducked into a bookstore and skimmed it after I saw the movie. Didn’t take much more than a skim to see that all the two seem to have in common are penguins and the use of the name “Mr. Popper.” That’s pretty much where the similarity ends. Seems silly to even call it by the same name, but whatever.

In the movie, Jim Carrey plays a really smarmy, selfish, heartless corporate guy who’s divorced, yet still somewhat friendly with his cool ex-wife, but his kids don’t trust him because he’s let them down so many times. Let’s stop right there for a second. Does it seem like you’ve seen this movie before and you know exactly where it’s heading, despite minor changes? Ever seen Liar, Liar? I swear, it’s the exact same character and set-up. But, instead of his son wishing he can never lie again, he’s taught some life lessons by some super cute penguins that his recently deceased, absentee, explorer/father left him. His dilemma: how to remain an evil corporate shark while hosting a colony/waddle/rookery (I looked it up) of heartwarming penguins in his apartment?

Here’s where it actually gets good: the visual effects are totally seamless. You really can’t tell which ones are real penguins and which are computer-generated. Either way, the little waddlers are really entertaining and adorable, even with all the poo and fart jokes. A lot of Carrey’s scenes with them are very sweet and funny, but then it happens. I know most people either love or hate him, and I usually lean toward the love camp, but his sporadic antics in the movie are clunky and distracting. They’re totally out of character for the slick Mr. Popper – but vintage Carrey. It’s as though the director tried his best to hold him back, but every now and then he just said, “Screw it. Go, Jim. Be rubbery and over the top. Get it out of your system!”

This may be of no interest to anyone but me, but I was shocked when I noticed the director’s name: Mark Waters. I wondered if maybe there’s more than one in the business, because it couldn’t be the same Mark Waters I interviewed years ago for a truly twisted and awesome Parker Posey movie called House of Yes. But, alas, they’re one and the same. (And his brother wrote the movie Heathers!) I hate to bust his chops for selling out -- I mean, I know the dude’s gotta make a living and all but, yikes! I was also surprised when I saw there were three people listed as writers. Three times the brain power and they still couldn’t come up with a better story? Yikes, again.

Okay. It’s not a horrible movie. It’s not even a particularly bad movie. But it could’ve been so much better with a little originality... or if they'd stuck with the original story. It totally feels like people were just phoning it in for a paycheck (like I wouldn’t do the same thing, given the chance), but your kids will like it if they can stick it out until the cute penguins show up. Oh, and they film a bunch at the Guggenheim Museum and Tavern on the Green in New York, which is not as good as being there, but really fun to look at. (Have you checked airfares lately? I’ll take what I can get, people.)

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: The Tree of Life Revieux (Rated PG-13)

2011-06-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

If you’re sick of the same ol’ formulaic movies, then The Tree of Life is for you.

And that’s probably the simplest, most concise statement you’ll read in this whole review. It’s just that kind of movie.

Let me see if I can sum it up in one sentence: It’s writer/director Terrence Malick’s highly conceptual interpretation of the existential crisis people face when they question their faith and ponder the meaning of life. Does that sound like academic babble? If you’ve ever seen his other movies, like The Thin Red Line, you understand how hard it is to describe his work in simple terms. But I’ll give it another shot.

There are two major components to The Tree of Life that are broken down and shuffled together like a deck of cards. One is a storyline that lets the audience hear a 1950s Texas family’s inner thoughts/prayers/dialogues with God as they each try to make sense of loss and other harsh realities of life. Brad Pitt plays the dad who loves his family to bits, but tends to take his frustrations and failures out on them with his nitpicking and explosive outbursts. His wife (Jessica Chastain) is a loving, nurturing mother who’s torn between remaining obedient to her husband and protecting her sons from him. Their oldest boy (Hunter McCracken) is struggling to find a balance between being a good kid and doing the naughty stuff red-blooded mean big brothers do. As an adult, he (Sean Penn) continues to grapple with the big questions, appears to eventually make some sense of it all spiritually, but can’t seem to apply it to the real world.

The story is presented in chunks, mostly out of sequence, and it’s interspersed with the other major component: spectacular images of natural and cosmic events. I guess they’re open to interpretation, but I took them to represent everything from the human soul to heaven and hell to the origins of life on Earth. Y’know, the concepts people tackle when they’re trying to figure out… well, the meaning of life.

Quite an ambitious undertaking, don’t you think?

There's a line towards the beginning of the movie that says, and I'm paraphrasing, that people have to choose between the way of grace and the way of nature. I think Malick's suggesting that we have to marry the two or we wind up with confusion, as he illustrates with the unusual composition of the movie.

If you don’t enjoy puzzles and visual stimuli that don’t always have a clear-cut purpose, you probably won’t dig this movie. I sort of took it as a challenge, and I wavered back and forth between just letting images and concepts wash over me to guessing their meaning like a mental game show. (Lava flow of emotion! Inner demons? No, wait -- purgatory!) I've chosen not to read much that's been written about this movie because my interpretation makes sense to me, so if it's wrong, I have no freakin' idea what I watched for two-and-a-half hours.

I hear the movie was booed by audiences at Cannes, which I think is ridiculous. Sure, it’s frustrating that Malick didn’t fill in all the gaps and some of his symbolism just flew right over my head, but the performances are pretty strong (even Brad Pitt’s, can you believe it?!) and you’ve gotta at least give Malick major points for creativity and originality. At the very least, I doubt you’re going to walk out of this thinking, “Oh, please. He totally ripped off Liar, Liar.” (See Mr. Popper’s Penguins revieux.)

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: New Orleans Museum of Art

2011-06-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

At long last, I decided to take advantage of NOMA’s freebee Wednesday afternoon – and to take my son with me. He’s a typical five year old, so I pretty much knew what to expect: mild to moderate interest followed by a rapid decline. So, I decided to sweeten the deal by throwing in lunch at Ralph Brennan’s Courtyard Café, located on the first level of the museum. He was psyched. As was I.

I’d checked online and it didn’t give specifics, but mentioned a kids’ menu, so I thought I was home-free. We made a bee-line as soon as we got there because we all know, a full tummy will buy you at least a little more patience (this usually goes for husbands, too, right?). I scanned the menu and saw amazing cheese plates and a really great assortment of paninis, soups, salads and such at very reasonable prices -- mostly under $10. Excellent.

What I hadn’t counted on was the proliferance of cheese, with the kids’ selections limited to grilled cheese and flatbread pizza. And here’s me with – you guessed it -- the only non-cheese-eating kid on the planet. Uh oh. I really thought I was a goner when they told me they had no plain lemonade, just the fancy basil variety. The only option, other than water, is flavored Italian soda – and he can’t stand carbonation. Oy, right?!

After a little negotiation with him and some amenability on the café’s part, we managed to put together a side order of roast chicken, a bag of Zapp’s, and ice water with as many lemon wedges as he cared to jam into it. I ordered a lovely little spinach salad and finally we got to enjoy the sleek, airy space with its floor-to-ceiling windows that afford views of both the park and the quaint patio, filled with umbrella-shaded tables.

Appetites sated and a wad of bubblegum shoved into his mouth (for insurance purposes), we ventured into the galleries. The Ancestors of the Congo Square African art exhibit was a hit with its super cool masks, exotic statues and animal-skull-infused pieces. A couple of the other exhibits had sporadic pieces that piqued his interest, but about 30 minutes into our somewhat fast-forwarded tour, I sensed the end was drawing nigh. I managed to squeeze another 15 minutes out of him as we breezed through pretty much every remaining gallery on the museum's three floors, but we moms know when the party’s over.

Naturally, it was on our way out that I discovered the secret to getting my kid more interested in the art. I let him take a few pictures with my phone and I saw the light come on. I asked which was his favorite piece in the whole museum, and I let him go take a few shots. (That’s the “naughty dogs,” as we referred to them, at right, as photographed by my boy. I wish I could blame the lopsided photo of the exterior of the museum on him, too -- but that's all me and my cockeyed view of the world...)

Holy smokes, why didn’t I think of this sooner?! Even if it’s just a disposable one, I’m definitely going to give him a camera next time we hit a museum. Eureka! Now, I’m not naive enough to think this will result in a three-hour in-depth tour, but what better way to encourage them to really check out the art than to give them the freedom to photograph the stuff that catches their eye? Then, you can tell them a little about each one. It’s guerilla education at its finest.

All in all, it went pretty well. I’m a firm believer in exposing our kids to the arts as early and as often as possible (whether they like it or not--ha!) – and I’m hoping he’ll have more of an interest/appreciation after the George Rodrigue arts camp next week. We’ll definitely be back to try the camera thing. HOWEVER, I'm thinking my next visit will involve some Manchego cheese, Sauvignon Blanc and a leisurely and thoughtful stroll through the galleries with a girlfriend!

Ahh.

For more information on NOMA, their special exhibitions and their calendar of events, visit www.noma.org.

BIG EASY: Hotel Monteleone... for Kids?

2011-06-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

Given that the hubster is STILL in recovery mode after contracting French Quarter Funk at the Oyster Festival last week (perhaps I overplayed the bravado a bit in that post), I decided to skip all the festival festivities this weekend, and opted for a less crowded French Quarter activity: a birthday party for Monte the Lion, the Hotel Monteleone’s mascot.

Like me, I’m sure many of you have been to a kiddie party or two in a swank locale that tried to cater to both the kids and the parents, only to fall short in both categories. Oh, cool -- mommy gets to go the fancy hotel in a nice dress, but she has to spend the whole time catering to her bored, cranky kid because the hosts just threw out some stupid crafts, a lame DJ, and some snacks in silver serving dishes. Certainly the kids will be satisfied simply hanging out in the Ooh-La-La Hotel. Serious miscalculation. Wasted afternoon.

That’s why when I committed to this party, I didn’t have very high expectations. Sure, it was at the fabulous, historic Hotel Monteleone, which I’ve passed in the French Quarter a million times, but never actually visited. I always hear about the cool Carousel Bar and its amazing cocktails, but this ain’t that kind of affair. So, in we trudged, up to the ballroom, past all the chandeliers and grandeur, and I wondered how long we’d have to stay without seeming rude.

I have to admit, it was a pretty nice spread. Kid-friendly hot dogs, hamburgers, and french fries galore were all displayed in the aforementioned silver chafing dishes, along with fine silverware, embossed napkins, and a friendly, accommodating staff in crisp white uniforms. And they upped the ante quite a bit with a made-to-order, cold-stone ice cream station and a DIY cupcake decorating table. Nicely played, but come on, even if we hit the crafts table, we could burn through this in 45 minutes flat.

What I didn’t account for was the formidable hosting committee. Monte the birthday lion was joined by Gumbo the Saints’ St. Bernard, Boudreaux the Zephyrs’ nutria, Hugo the Hornet, and B97’s bee (they're pictured, above, playing a comical game of musical chairs). Yeah, I know it’s their jobs to entertain and all, but you’d sort of understand if they phoned it in for a little kids’ party. But for two hours, these guys (and a girl) were as committed to silly party games as they are to entertaining thousands of screaming sports fans, and they lavished each kid with tons of attention. Seriously, after being hugged on and spun around and tickled the whole time, I had to pry my son off poor Gumbo more than once.

Even their choice of DJ was spot on. This dude managed to keep things rolling with just enough banter to goad the mascots and keep both kids and parents amused – not an easy task. The grand finale was a second line around the room, complete with napkins a-wavin’ all over the place. God bless New Orleans!

I’m not kidding when I tell you I was grinning like an idiot the whole time, and my kid was sopping wet with dance-induced sweat. Oh, and our final departure time was 15 minutes after the event was scheduled to end. THIS is how it’s done, folks!

We skipped Monte’s annual children’s holiday tea last year, as it sounded like a disciplinary nightmare for my active five-year-old, but I’ve seen the light. These people know what they’re doing, so we’ll be first in line for this year’s festivities!

For more info on the Hotel Monteleone or to check out their calendar of events, visit http://www.hotelmonteleone.com/

BIG SCREEN: Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-06-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

You know how so many movies these days manage to bridge the age gap, appealing to kids and parents alike? Some of the jokes and references are lobbed way over the kids’ heads, just to entertain the adults. Uh, yeah. This ain’t one of those movies.

Judy Moody (Jordana Beatty) is a third grader who’s determined to make this the best summer ever, unlike all the previous boring ones. She devises a competitive chart, complete with a point system, to encourage her posse of friends to strive for a “thrilladelic” summer. To her dismay, her best pals and even her parents leave town, and she seems doomed to another season of utter boredom. When her wacky and beautiful Aunt Opal (Heather Graham – oh, Rollergirl, how far ye have fallen) shows up to babysit, things start to look up. But can Judy actually keep this summer from turning into a total bummer?

Unfortunately for parents, Judy’s is a world of precocious, over-enunciating kids (except for her brother, Stink, who has a thick speech impediment), a hefty supply of poo and puke jokes, and Steve Urkel (aka, Jaleel White) as a teacher. Sure, he’s all grown up, but how can we ever see past that lasting impression? Highly. Annoying. BUT, it’s also a world where a little kid constantly uses her imagination to entertain herself. It’s kind of refreshing that her list of thrills involves stuff like walking a homemade tightrope, riding a local rollercoaster with no hands, and camping in a tent in the backyard in hopes of catching Big Foot. Ah, simplicity and ingenuity. Remember summers like that?

So, while it ain’t the universally appealing Shrek or Kung Fu Panda, the kids all seemed to dig it. And I guess it’s our job as parents to occasionally take one for the team, right? As we left the theater, my son actually asked if we could see it again. Wow, that’s a ringing endorsement. I smiled, tousled his hair and said, “No way, dude.”

I’m no martyr, people. I said take ONE for the team.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: Oysters with a Side of Funk

2011-06-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

So, my family and I went to the Oyster Festival last weekend (my husband and son are pictured, left, digging the "Bag of Donuts" show), and I would’ve blogged about it sooner, but my husband’s been battling a nasty case of the plague ever since -- and I’ve been on Florence Nightingale patrol. After 24 hours of non-stop, um, regurgitation and fever, we hit the ER Monday night. Blood work, urine analysis, x-ray and a basic symptom check ruled out pneumonia, infection and food poisoning. They juiced him up with an IV and sent us home with anti-puke pills, but three days later, the fever is still lurking. They call it a nasty virus, I call it French Quarter Funk.

Now, before you call me out, I’m not suggesting that every case of the upchucks after hanging out in the Quarter is germ/virus-related. Certainly, we’ve all gotten caught up in festivities and perhaps, er, overhydrated ourselves with spirited beverages once or twice, but this is different.

It’s no secret that the French Quarter isn’t the most sterile of environments, but throw in festival food that’s been baking in 100-degree weather, hoards of people emitting all kinds of bodily fluids, and close proximity to said-hoards, and there’s just no guarantee you’re coming out unscathed. A few months ago, my five-year-old son caught a similar bug after spending an afternoon in the Vieux Carre and consuming a Lucky Dog on the street. Who knows where he picked up that bug, but if mama’s incessant hand-sanitizing couldn’t ward it off, it was obviously just meant to be.

One would think that one would avoid regions that one has identified as major germ distribution centers, wouldn’t one? But then, one would miss out on all the fun -- it’s the Quarter and we love it!

Okay, stick with me on this one -- I see this whole incident as a metaphor for the city of New Orleans itself. And I’ve got one more example before I make my actual point.

On Saturday night, after we got home from the festival and the neighbors’ shrimp boil, I tweeted, “Living in Nola has taught me to not obsess over the fact that I may or may not have watched a server drip sweat into my order at the Oyster Fest.” To which, New Orleans tweeple replied with something to the effect of, “Dawlin’, he was just adding a little seasoning!” My native neighbors reacted the exact same way. Not a single one was disgusted. And I felt just a little more like a local for having blown off the whole, unsanitary event in order to enjoy myself.

Now do you get it? Many people from the outside world see New Orleans as a tainted entity. Like an oyster poboy topped with someone else’s bodily fluids… like a drive-thru daiquiri that’s served up with a side of stomach flu. What they don't understand is, the beauty of New Orleans lies not in its amazing cuisine, its classic architecture, or even its soulful jazz. No, the true beauty lies in the dirt and the decay and the bodily by-products that go along with it. They give the city its depth of character, and they weed out the riff-raff. If you can’t accept the good with the bad, the yin with the yang, the sweet with the stank – well, then maybe you don’t belong here. Scurry on back to your sterile suburbs and Purell yourselves head to toe. We’ve got some livin’ to do!

BIG SCREEN: Kung Fu Panda 2 Revieux

2011-05-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

I’m pretty dubious of sequels when I really, really liked the original. That’s why when I saw an interview with Jack Black recently and he mentioned how Kung Fu Panda 2 is more serious and delves into the question of Po’s birth parents (the dude who raised him is a goose, as you may recall), I actually groaned aloud. Please don’t try to pluck my heartstrings when I’m trying to enjoy some lighthearted animation! I’m still in therapy after Toy Story 3, for crying out loud!

So, in this go-round, Po is enjoying his status as the celebrated Dragon Warrior, but when he and the Furious Five are called in to rescue the village from some wolf-thugs, an emblem worn by one of the bad guys induces confusing flashbacks to Po’s origins. It turns out that the evil dude who sent the wolves to pillage the village is not only out to end kung fu with a seemingly unstoppable weapon, but he knows how Po came to be separated from his mom and dad. Can Po uncover the truth while remaining focused on saving kung fu from annihilation?

I’m happy to report the filmmakers actually did a good job finding a balance here. They added a little more substance to the story line without making it too terribly heavy. It was sweet and nostalgic without reducing me to a blubbering mess like the aforementioned Toy Story finale. (For that, I’m grateful.) And I wondered how they would maintain the silliness with Po now being a kung fu master and all, but he still manages to screw up just enough to keep him lovably buffoonish. It's not quite as funny as the first movie--there's not nearly as much funny banter between Po, the Furious Five and Master Shifu (all voiced by the original actors)--but the visuals are super cool, and it kept both me and my five-year-old adequately entertained. AND, I’m assuming there’s a number three in the works, as they left us with a serious cliffhanger!

PS -- Luckily, my kid opted for the NON-3-D version. Hallelujah. I imagine I'd be back to my cranky ol' self had I been forced to don those idiotic glasses one more stinkin' time.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Revieux (Rated PG-13)

2011-05-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

So, in this, the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Captain Jack Sparrow, his old nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), and the legendary Blackbeard (Ian McShane) are all after the mythical Fountain of Youth. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom are out and Penelope Cruz is in as a scorned woman from Jack’s past who returns with a few surprises for our boy. A little magic, some zombies, a lot of sword fighting, beautiful but deadly mermaids. Jack swaggers, pirates argh, blah blah blah…

Do I sound underwhelmed? Well, I ‘spose I should preface my review with a couple of things. First of all, I was stuck breathing in the stench of a gabby, halitosistic (Is that a word? Should be) woman beside me for the full 2 hours and 17 minutes. People, if you’re going to be a blabbermouth, at least have fresh breath. If your breath reeks of mothballs (and, really, you should know), SHUT IT!!

Secondly, enough with the 3-D. There was absolutely no point to this annoying feature, especially when it’s only used to highlight some random, stagy sword thrusts directly into the camera. And I don’t need to feel as though Johnny Depp’s lovely pointed nose is going to jab me in the cornea to appreciate his magnificent face.

But, alas, I don’t suppose I can blame my lack of enthusiasm for this movie on Miss Stank Breath or glasses that are, I think, designed for Persian cats (they have flat faces, y’know). Here’s the thing. I sort of understand why they would ditch Keira and Orlando in an effort to freshen up the formula. But, the problem is, they don’t really freshen it up. There are now gaping holes where the youthful zeal and humorous banter once were. Penelope Cruz certainly adds some serious Spanish smolder, and I dug seeing a strong woman pirate – but the old chemistry seems to have fizzled. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still action-packed and visually flawless (or it would be without the idiotic 3-D nonsense) and who could ever tire of seeing Johnny D. in the sexy pirate get-up? But, nevertheless, it all feels tired and played out.

On the bright side, the casting is once again amazing. Geoffrey Rush: genius. Ian McShane: the absolute only choice to play Blackbeard ever again. But the highlight for me was a VERY surprising little cameo by Dame Judi Dench, one of my modern day heroes. How cool is she for showing up in the middle of this silliness, however briefly? Oh, and Keith Richards is on the screen for a few scant moments, too. More screen time for these two could’ve bumped up my opinion. And playing opposite each other would’ve been cinematic genius! Says me.

The filmmakers certainly left room for another sequel with the way they ended this installment, but, while I’ll still probably see the next one, I won’t be tripping all over myself to get to the theater.

(PS -- It still might be a bit scary for the more skittish young ‘uns, but the level of violence and gore is less than or equal to some of the previous Pirates.)

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold Revieux (Rated PG-13)

2011-05-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

Have you heard anything at all about The Greatest Movie Ever Sold? Probably not, and I think I know why. Okay, I’m going to categorize it, and you have to promise not to click over to play Angry Birds or whatever people are wasting time on these day. Ready? DOCUMENTARY.

Now, now, stick with me -- it’s not your garden variety documentary. It’s from Morgan Spurlock, the guy who did Super Size Me. Certainly you heard about that – the guy ate off the McDonald’s menu for a year and tracked his declining health along the way? Well, this time, the human guinea pig attempts to finance an entire movie with advertising dollars – without losing artistic control. Can he “buy in” without “selling out?”

We watch as Spurlock pitches and haggles with (sometimes clueless, amusingly enough) marketing execs and lawyers and such. He also seeks advice and feedback from the likes of consumer watchdog Ralph Nader, industry insiders, people on the street, and even famous directors, like J.J. Abrams, Quentin Tarantino, and Brett Ratner. Without batting an eye, Ratner (Rush Hour, X-Men) scoffs at the concept of artistic integrity, as “we’re all selling out.” I suppose this should be seen as refreshingly honest, but I found myself feeling deeply disgusted – sometimes a little b.s. is a good thing, dude. Ick.

As the movie progresses, it clearly illustrates how we’re shamelessly manipulated by the advertising and motion picture industries. Yeah, we all knew it, but it’s way worse than we imagined. Product placement is bad enough, but when Spurlock undergoes an MRI while viewing TV ads, the visual evidence of “neuromarketing” is irrefutable. Holy smokes, they’re screwing with our brain chemistry?!

But, just when you think your attitude towards advertising is set in stone, the clever filmmaker throws a curve ball. The concept: advertising in schools. Unacceptable, right? Well, for one thing, there’s already an educational TV network in lots of schools which gets paid prime-time rates for its ad spots. Also, when Spurlock meets with members of the Broward County, Florida, school board, they make a compelling argument about offsetting devastating public school budget cuts with ads on buses and fences. Maybe even selling naming rights to the school! It’s not such a cut-and-dry ethical choice for a district that’s losing vital programs. Hm. Food for thought.

If it weren’t for Spurlock’s witty and clever approach, this would have certainly been a snore of a movie. But it’s actually hilarious and full of delightful irony. A movie that entertains me AND makes me think? Wow, what a novel idea! I’m sold.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Bridesmaids Revieux (Rated R)

2011-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

I’ve heard a lot of people describe Bridesmaids as The Hangover for women. This did not sound encouraging to me. Seriously. There’s certainly a time and place for raunchy dude flicks, but do women still feel like they have to act like men to transcend the stereotypical chick flick and be riotously funny? Ugh, Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live) is sort of an over-the-top comedian, anyway – so, I had visions of extreme desperation and hammy performances dancing obnoxiously in my head. But, I’m pleased to say, this was not the case.

Wiig plays Annie, a down-on-her-luck 30-something who’s lost her business, boyfriend, and entire life savings all in one fell swoop, and is now eking out a pretty pathetic existence. Her job stinks, her car’s a junker, and her “friend with benefits” (Jon Hamm) is a serious jerk. But her relationship with her childhood best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph), is a ray of sunlight and it brings out the best in her. When Lillian gets engaged and asks Annie to be her maid of honor, however, Annie’s whole rickety house of cards pretty much gets blown to smithereens, thanks to her own insecurities and a really competitive/overly perfect fellow bridesmaid. And we watch her total deconstruction play out with cringe-worthy, but hilarious results.

Quite contrary to my expectations, Wiig and Rudolph (and a great supporting cast) actually turn in some truly authentic and funny performances. And even if I didn’t tell you that Wiig wrote this movie with a girlfriend, you’d still be able to tell it was written by women. Why? What makes it NOT The Hangover for women? Heart and soul (we women like a little substance, right?). Not enough to make it super sappy and ruin the comedic aspects, but enough to give it some weight and to balance out the bawdy humor and crazy sight-gags. And there’s plenty of both, don’t worry.

As I watched, I imagined that most women will find it amusing, but I wondered how many will actually identify with Annie. While many women married their college sweethearts or dutifully worked their way up the corporate ladder, there were many of us—er—many women out there, I'm told, who made terrible choices and maybe partied a bit too much and told each other lewd jokes and dated the wrong people for the wrong reasons. We--I mean, they give themselves away by laughing the loudest in the theater. Busted!

Although, yes, dudes directed and produced it – Bridesmaids is a movie written by women, about women, with an uncensored sense of humor. Hallelujah! How refreshing! Perfect for a girls’ night out!

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: Longue Vue House & Gardens

2011-05-11T20:29:00.000-07:00

As someone with a history of poor stress management, it’s not unusual for me to go through occasional periods of insomnia and general “tightly-woundedness” (I’m officially coining that phrase). So, when I saw I could get into Longue Vue House & Gardens free of charge last Friday, in celebration of National Public Gardens Day, I thought, what a lovely excuse to take a little breather while creating a blog post!

My morning ran a little longer than I thought, so when I pulled into the tucked-away, bamboo-lined drive at the edge of Old Metairie a full 45 minutes later than I’d planned, I started off on the wrong foot. Immediately, my brain started calculating how much time I could spend here, then get home and tackle a huge to-do list, and still make it to school for pick-up time. STRESS! Thus, my plan became: briskly walk through, get the general gist, then hightail it out of there. Real relaxing, right?!

So, I blazed a trail to the entrance of the Discovery Garden (the first listing on my handy little map), but came to a screeching halt at the bamboo tunnel. Wow. I don’t know if bamboo has some sort of magical effect or if it’s inextricably tied to Eastern spiritual practices in my brain somewhere, but the calming Zen-effect was almost immediate. One or two of my 3,000 clenched muscles seemed to actually relax. Interesting.

Through the tunnel, the first thing I saw was a giant sundial that tells the time based on where your shadow falls. And that set the tone for this whimsical, interactive garden. Where to next? The elaborate herb section, broken down into categories including culinary, medicinal, and even bug repellant? The giant watering can hovering over the Get Gardening Bed stocked with lots of dirt and an abundance of froggy spades for little hands? The Worm Dig with trowels-o-plenty for hunting down the little wigglers? The Recycled Garden and its playful, kitschy display of bathroom fixtures as planters (toilets are pure hilarity to all children, and most men, I think)? All are equally cool.

There’s also a box turtle habitat; a butterfly house filled with big, fat, Disney-esque, Technicolor caterpillars chowing down on leaves; a growing box that allows you to slide open a door to reveal the roots and all the action below ground; and an area stocked with rakes and log-filled wagons for designing your own garden. Whew! (There is also a small, well-placed bank of nice, clean restrooms. Score!)

And, holy smokes, do these folks have programs for kids and families. Of course, there are their ongoing Kinder Garden and Little Masters programs -- which mix art, nature, education, and even movement -- but there are also tons of special events and classes scheduled throughout the year. On May 21, staff and photography instructor Sophie Lvoff will hold a family digital photography workshop inspired by the architectural and surrealist work of photographer Clarence John Laughlin, coinciding with an exhibit of Laughlin’s work. In June, Longue Vue will be visiting libraries in Orleans and Jefferson Parishes as part of the Summer Reading Program. (See their calendar of events for details.)

But, the Discovery Garden is only the first stop. On goes the tour… In addition to the beautiful surroundings, there’s something very soothing about pea gravel crunching under foot. The further I walked, the more I unwound. My pace slowed as I made my way to the koi pond at the entrance to the Wild Garden. The only drawback: traffic noise from beyond the fence. (It’s no big deal to reroute traffic to accommodate me on my next visit, right?) Luckily a waterfall mutes the traffic sounds a bit on the three serpentine paths that cut through swaths of irises, camellias, and an array of other native flowers and trees – all painstakingly labeled. The Wildflower Walk is lousy with lilies and other fragrant blooms – an excellent reason to take deep, cleansing breaths. Talk about aromatherapy!

Beyond is the lovely Walled Garden (originally the family’s kitchen garden) with its circular patterns and a sugar kettle fountain at the center; The Canal Garden with (duh) a canal-shaped fountain; and The Goldfish Pond and Overlook with another waterfall feature. And finally, I reached the source of the loud, spattering water sounds that had been luring me closer throughout my stroll – The Spanish Court.

After ceremoniously passing beneath a grand loggia, I was delighted by this vista (it’s the one most associated with Longue Vue): a long, lush corridor leading up the house, with a great reflecting pool and majestic arching fountains down the center, and walks along each side that are framed by garden walls and evenly spaced, unique water features, sculptures, plantings, and inviting seating areas. The attention to detail here is remarkable. The walks are paved with a mix of French tiles and polished Mexican pebbles, laid out in rhythmic patterns. I really wanted someone to offer me a refreshing afternoon cocktail and some nibbly things at one of the tables, and maybe a good book, so I’d have an excuse to linger here a little longer. No such luck. But the mere thought unkinked my few remaining tweaked muscles and left me all loosey-goosey.

Closer to the house is a terraced garden, with a geometric boxwood border and some amazingly fragrant trees and bushes. Gardenias are my very favorites and these are actually grown to resemble topiaries! There’s also a yellow garden flanking the adjacent Whim House, inspired by the family’s visit to a monochromatic garden in England.

Unlike the grand houses of River Road, this World War II-era mansion is less of a historical relic, and more of a snapshot of the Stern family who once inhabited it – with most of the furniture and accessories original to the house. Sure, there are amazing intricacies and lavish décor, but more importantly, there are personal artifacts like books, art, a doll collection, irreverent caricatures of Mr. Stern, and signed pictures (with personalized notes for the hostess) from famous guests like Eleanor Roosevelt – all as they left it. This actually makes it far more interesting to me. And I loved learning from the guided tour that the lady of the house had to wait until her modern-art-hating husband bit the dust to create her seemingly out-of-place modern art gallery in the back of the house! I wondered if she financed it with the money she made emptying out his wine cellar and auctioning off its extensive contents!

Ah, with my tour of the house and gardens complete, I felt amazingly calmed and adequately distracted from the noise and tedium of everyday life. I took one last look at the "oak alley" in front of the house, then hopped in the car, turned on a little WWOZ jazz… and promptly had some stupid jerky woman pull out in front of me on Metairie Rd. Are you crazy, you #@$%*! Ugh, right back where I started. But, I had a new secret weapon. “Go back to the koi pond, Liz. BE the koi pond…”

Note: I later returned with my 5-year-old to test the facility’s appeal to the wild, short-attention-spanned set, and I was thrilled with the results. Not only was he all over the hands-on stuff in the Discovery Garden, but he was enthralled with the rest of the gardens, especially the water features. He even did well on the house tour, which only lasted about 20 minutes.

For more information, visit http://www.longuevue.com/

BIG SCREEN: Thor 3D Revieux (PG-13)

2011-05-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

How’s your knowledge of Norse mythology? About as dismal as mine? Good, so I’ll keep the plot of this movie really simple…

Just as the mighty, but arrogant warrior Thor (played by the otherworldly hot Chris Hemsworth) is set to ascend to his aging father’s throne and become king of the cosmic realm of Asgard, he goes and defies King Odin (Sir Anthony Hopkins), reigniting an ancient war in the process. Needless to say, Dad is ticked. He strips his son of his powers (and his notorious hammer) and banishes him to Earth, where he meets and falls in love with a lady astrophysicist named Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). Which is all well and good, but can he learn his lesson and return to his native world in time to save it from certain doom???

Okay, I don’t mean to brag (actually, I do – but I’ve been a stay-at-home mommy for 5.5 years, so cut me some slack!), but I actually got to meet and interview Thor’s director, Kenneth Branagh, in the late 90s. Not only was he even more dashing and handsome in person, but he was just a cool, cool customer. He’s best known for his amazing Shakespearean film adaptations, so I went into Thor with mixed feelings. Sure, I dig the actor/director’s interpretation of the bard’s plays and he left a good impression on me personally, but a sci-fi/action movie? I was dubious.

A few minutes into the movie, I had a really bad feeling. It felt a little corny AND I was wishing I’d read up on the notes. Outstanding visuals aside – costumes, sets, special effects, and 3D effects -- I started to feel a little lost and disinterested, what with all the crazy Scandinavian names and soaring dialog (sadly, it doesn't take much these days). But then, somehow, it all shifted into this perfect balance. DING! So stinkin' cool!

Is it because they found a happy medium between comic book and mythology -- neither insultingly glib, nor obnoxiously cerebral? Was it the introduction of an astrophysicist, who made the concept of traveling through worm holes to distant planets seem plausible? Hard to say, but I think the story finally caught up with the mindblowing visuals for me when Natalie Portman’s character quoted Arthur C. Clarke (2001: A Space Odyssey): “Magic is science we don’t understand, yet.” Love that! Makes suspending disbelief just a little bit easier.

As I left the theater, I wished I’d brought my 5-year-old son, because I think he would’ve dug it. Not nearly as gory or violent as I thought it would be. It’s PG-13 because of “sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence." But I think if they can handle Star Wars, this is totally comparable in intensity.

PS -- Stick around through the credits for a little bonus cosmic 3D stuff! Totally worth it!

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: The Historic Latter Branch Library

2011-05-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

As a still-enamored transplant, I often wonder if it’s possible for natives to truly appreciate how amazing New Orleans is. So much culture, so many hidden gems tucked away everywhere. Is its abundance of charm taken for granted if you’ve grown up with it? Because no other city I’ve ever lived in (the final count is nine) is such a treasure trove.

Being the library geek that I am, I was especially thrilled to discover my latest find. (Disclaimer: “library geek” kinda implies some sort of lofty intelligence. I’m medium-smart and not exactly the most well-read chick ever. I’ve just had multiple library/publishing industry jobs, and have an abnormal affinity to writers and the buildings that house their wares.) Anyway, my latest discovery: The Milton H. Latter Branch of the New Orleans Public Library.

When we first moved here a year ago, I immediately began dragging my son up and down every street and alleyway, investigating every nook and cranny in this burg. Museums, parks, various neighborhoods, festivals, you name it. And every time we rode the St. Charles streetcar last summer (which was a lot), I gazed at that lovely, tarp-covered mansion on the hill and wondered when the renovations would be completed. I was dying to see the inside of this palace-cum-library, with its huge yard (would you refer to the huge space surrounding the house as grounds? Yard seems so inadequate!) and enviable location.

Anyway, when fall rolled around and school started and Saints fever broke out and work got revved up – I totally forgot about my castle crush. Then, a couple of months ago, as we chauffered out-of-town guests down St. Charles, I saw that it was finally open. Hooray! Of course, this town is so packed with festivals and parties and distractions, it took me until now to actually cross the threshold, but I finally did.

Have you ever been in there? Man, it’s like getting to forgo the $25+ admission fee charged by fancy Uptown or Garden District tours-of-homes. This particular home is, of course, a bit on the shabby-chic side and still being renovated, but I happen to find that endearing. I was happy to see that they have a printed brochure as you enter the building, which delves into the structure’s history and details regarding its decorative features. Built in 1907, its previous inhabitants have ranged from silent film star to a famous aviator to a horse racing magnate. The final owners purchased the mansion with the specific intention of transforming it into a memorial public library for their son Milton Latter, who died in Okinawa during World War II. A-ha. This explains it. That loving gesture certainly translates into the overall vibe of this library.

After passing through the art deco-ish front doors and tile mosaic entryway, you’re kind of transported back in time. To the right is a sitting room – no books or computers or anything – just an ornate room, complete with a marble fireplace, silk wall panels, a charmingly shabby pink settee and chairs, and an amazing fresco on the ceiling, picturing a multitude of cherubic angels. I learned that the fresco (as well as the one in the other front room) was imported from France, and originally graced the ceilings in a French Quarter mansion. The room to the left of the entry is a little more functional, and I think I shall henceforth refer to it as the “periodicals parlor.” As it's, y’know, where the magazines are.

The librarians’ desk is on the back wall of the great foyer, and on my visit, was crowded with very friendly and helpful staff (I’ve worked in many a library – trust me, that ain’t always the case). To my delight, steps away from the desk, I spotted a large, cedar-shaving-filled aquarium, which houses a fluffy and lively guinea pig named, “Rhetoric.” (I’m told there’s a movement afoot to change this rather, um, academic moniker.) What a sweet little surprise!

To the left of the front desk is the rather imposing, medieval-looking dining room, which contains several long tables that were populated by students on a field trip when I was there. Through the dining room, on the front corner of the house is a bright, cozy, little sunroom with a mosaic tile floor, a couple of small tables, some wicker chairs, and a bay window filled with potted plants. I had to sit in here for a few minutes and jot down notes as I enjoyed the view, which included a passing streetcar. Ahhh.

Past the front desk, towards the back of the house is the comfy, homey children’s section. In addition to shelves full of kids’ books, it features a shelf of Caldecott-winning books right up front, clothes-line displays of coloring sheets overhead, and a super sunny glass alcove filled with beanbag chairs! I resisted the urge to plop down for an afternoon siesta, but it wasn’t easy.

Up the soaring, curved mohagany staircase is… well, a much less charming space. Grownup books, tables, chairs, computers, blah blah blah. But, I guess this is where the actual work gets done!

A walk around the grounds reveals long-ago abandoned patios and gardens, and a lovely carriage house (that’s almost as big as my actual house), which hosts a book sale every Wednesday and Saturday, from 10am-2pm.

Who has public libraries like this?! God bless New Orleans and its ability to preserve and repurpose historic structures.

I look for any excuse to venture into New Orleans’ historic neighborhoods, and this is a great one. It’s somehow satisfying to be able to pull up to a grand ol’ St. Charles mansion and stroll in like I own the place. As extra incentive, they’re challenging children to register to read five books and win free admission to the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus (New Orleans Arena, June 16-19). Count us in!

For a full list of events, stop in at 5120 St. Charles Avenue, call 596-2625, or visit nutrias.org.

BIG EASY: Disney on Ice - Toy Story 3

2011-04-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I’m going to try to contain my cheapskate-driven irritation until after we talk about the cuteness of the actual show. But, holy smokes – what a racket!

Anway, the show. First of all, I found it hilarious that they announced beforehand that the smoke they use during the show is perfectly harmless, lest you think the House of Mouse is trying to kill you and your children. Also, they requested that you turn off your cell phones. Have they met their shrieking little banshee demographic? As if polite, seated children would shush a rude parent whose melodic ringtone dared to break the silence. Hysterical!

Now, I’m not a crazed Disney fan, but even I was a little excited to see Mickey and his posse open the show. Naturally, everyone went bananas, then they delved into the premise for this show. Have you seen Toy Story 3, yet (and bawled your eyes out)? If not, never fear. The ice show seamlessly weaves the plots of all three movies together, before revealing how they wrapped the trilogy up (I almost got misty again, doggone it) in the final movie. Reminiscing about past adventures is interspersed with musical skating numbers, and each of the major characters gets their moment in the spotlight.

This ain’t your Grandma’s Ice Capades, though. There are pyrotechnics, some high-flying entrances and exits, and some pretty elaborate, heavily populated numbers, like the one showcasing more Barbies than you’ve ever seen in your life! It’s loads of fun, but pretty lengthy (about 2 hours, including an intermission) and loud (and Emporer Zurg is a little scary), if you’ve got itty-bitties… or grownups, who might think an hour and a half would suffice!

But, please, may I kvetch? We were kind of annoyed that we had to pay to park in the UNO Lakefront Arena’s very own lot, but y’know, whatever. Take the $5. (Maybe they can put it towards hosing down the pavement with a little Roundup – ha.) But, good grief -- since when does cotton candy cost $12? And those ubiquitous little swirling light-up plastic toys -- $20? I saw families of five loaded down with nachos and candy and Buzz Lightyear cups and fairy wands, etc – and my brain melted, just trying to calculate the expense. Amazing. More power to ‘em.

As for me, I sprung for candy, a drink and popcorn. And the promise of a trip to the Dollar Tree tomorrow!

Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3 is playing now through Sunday, May 1, with multiple daily shows at UNO Lakefront Arena.

http://www.ticketmaster.com/venue/221659

(Having a slight technical glitch with the link, so a little cut-and-paste is in order, if you want to go buy tickets!)

BIG SCREEN: Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil 3D Revieux (PG)

2011-04-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

In this sequel to the original animated film, released in 2006, Red Riding Hood (Hayden Panettiere) is off training with a Kung-Fu-like fairytale troop called “The Sisters of the Hood” when her Granny (Glenn Close) gets kidnapped by a scary witch (Joan Cusack). To save her, Red has to summon up some serious maturity and pair up with her old nemesis, The Big Bad Wolf (Patrick Warburton). How ever will it end?!

To tell the truth, I never saw the original Hoodwinked. It sounded vaguely familiar, but I wondered how I’d missed it. So, I check the dates and realized-- oh, yeah – I was busy recovering from 57 hours of back labor and an emergency C-section while caring for a colicky child who didn’t sleep for 18 months. But, I digress.

Six years later, my back is pretty much repaired and I’m adequately rested. I settled into my cushy seat, and I’ve gotta admit – I got a little giddy, even as the opening credits began to roll. True, my cappuccino had just kicked in, but I mean, come on! Expectations are through the roof when you read: Close, Cusack, Andy Dick, Bill Hader, Brad Garrett, Amy Poehler, Martin Short, Cheech & Chong, Patrick Warburton (Elaine’s boyfriend from Seinfeld), and David Ogden Stiers (Winchester from M*A*S*H – am I dating myself with these old references?!). Oh, and Hayden Panettiere, who was fine, but really, who cares next to the rest of that seasoned cast?

So, this crazy-amazing cast dives right in and delivers a crazy barrage of one-liners and clever references (props to the writers, truly). One minute they’re catering to the kiddies-- and those of us with kiddie-like senses of humor--with lines like (in a French accent), “I think the fan is about to be hit by the doody.” The next, they’re nodding and winking at grownups by riffing on iconic movies like Goodfellas and Silence of the Lambs. And it’s rapid-fire. No dawdling and milking every joke for all it’s worth. Seriously, I think this is the kind of movie I’ll have to rent/own and view multiple times to catch all the verbal and visual gags.

I kid you not, I had tears in my eyes as I giggled my way through the first part of the movie (the frequency of the gags subsided a bit as we got into the meat of the story). Maybe it’s because my expectations were so low after the last two kids’ movie I watched turned out to be (a) a bitter disappointment and (b) only mildly entertaining. (That’s Rango and Hop, respectively). Or maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for good talent and good writing. Either way – thoroughly enjoyable.

(Oh, wait – did I mention it was in 3D? Usually, that’s a total turnoff for me, but I didn’t mind it in this case. It was totally unnecessary—as is most 3D these days, if you ask me—but the movie is worth the annoying, ill-fitting glasses!)

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Prom Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-04-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

It really comes down to perspective when deciding whether to give this new movie, Prom, a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. If you’re an innocent tween or a parent who really wants to shield your kid(s) from the harsh realities and social strata of the high school ecosystem, then this’ll be a big a thumbs-up for you. If you’re a more mature, streetwise teen or an adult from the John Hughes generation, rotate that wrist 90-180 degrees.

Prom is a mix of intersecting teenage storylines in the weeks leading up to a high school prom. The overachieving pretty girl who’s dateless, yet head of the prom committee; the misunderstood bad boy she’s obviously destined to fall for; the sweet, but goobery sophomore buddies whose friendship is tested because of a girl; the cocky jock who’s juggling girlfriends; and the very John Cusack-y, lovable lunk who can’t seem to get the girl. (They actually named this character “Lloyd.” It took me a while to figure out they weren’t actually directly referencing Say Anything!)

If you’re a member of the aforementioned John Hughes generation, your head will spin at the number of nods/ripoffs (again, a matter of perspective) to the teen flicks from the 80s. But, despite some charming moments, you won’t mistake Prom for Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club. I completely forgot that this was a Disney film, as it begins by presenting a slightly edgier look and feel than, say, Hannah Montana. But it becomes crystal clear as the movie progresses and there are no mean girls, no one is teased or ostracized, no one fights with their parents, there’s no hint of sex/drugs/alcohol, and no real teen-angst-driven poignancy. Disney all the way.

Anyway, whether the Disneyfication is to your liking or not, the universal good news is, this ensemble cast appears to have a lot of break-out-star potential. Apparently, some of these kids already have their own tweenage TV shows, but I’m 40 with a five-year-old boy, so they may as well be “big in Japan,” as far as I’m concerned.

Bottom line: Sweet and fluffy, safe for tweens. But, much like cotton candy, it's straight-up sugar with no nutritional value.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Rio Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-04-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

As Rio opens, we meet Blu (Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network), a little hatchling macaw who is observing the beauty and wonder of his lively South American jungle home. Before he’s even able to take flight and join the rhythmic rituals around him, he’s snatched by bird smugglers and winds up being raised by a young girl in Minnesota. He grows up to become a perfectly content, but overly domesticated bird, whose neurotic personality closely resembles that of a feathery, midwestern Woody Allen. To his dismay, one day his owner Linda (Leslie Mann) is persuaded to escort him back to Brazil in an effort to mate him with another blue macaw—a decidedly UNdomesticated bird named Jewel (Anne Hathaway)--to save his endangered species. But, instead, Blu winds up on a wild adventure that takes him back to the jungle, as well as Rio’s flamboyant carnivale, accompanied by a host of colorful characters. Time to bird-up, Blu!

This is one of those no-harm, no-foul kid flicks that really doesn’t require a whole lotta analysis. It’s adequately silly and maintains a kid-friendly pace. The visuals are good, the tail-feather-shaking soundtrack is infectious (seriously considering getting it for my kid), and some of the supporting characters are quite amusing. Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas, Jamie Foxx, George Lopez, and Tracy Morgan definitely add a lot of vocal color to compliment the visual. But, New Zealand actor Jemaine Clement absolutely steals the show as a delightfully villainous and really unattractive cockatoo, who’s out to destroy the “pretty birds.”

And while Jesse Eisenberg is endearingly awkward, I have to say, at first it sorta bugged me that the sassy Brazilian girl-bird who challenges Blu to toughen up and get back to his roots is voiced by, um, Anne Hathaway. Hello? We have no fiery, Brazilian—or at least, slightly more ethnic--actresses to choose from anywhere on the planet?! But after the first few minutes of annoyance, the two settled into an acceptable, if not standard, love-hate banter. Fine. Whatever.

It's cute and overall, like I said, no-harm, no-foul (is there a "fowl" joke in there? I'll spare you). Was it clever? No. Was it groundbreaking? Nah. Designed to stimulate adults? Not exactly. But did the kids dig it? Yep. Good enough.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG SCREEN: Hop Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-04-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

What is the Easter Bunny’s deal? I mean, has anyone ever really asked? We know where Santa lives and how he operates, but the Big Bunny? Total mystery. Hop endeavors to educate us on the subject.

So, the Easter Bunny (voiced by Hugh Laurie) lives on Easter Island (yikes, of leper colony fame? Oh, well -- I guess what the kids don’t know… right?) with his teenage son, E.B. (voiced by Russell Brand), who would rather play drums than inherit the family business. When his dad starts pushing for the succession, E.B. runs away to Hollywood to seek his fame and fortune. He strikes up an unlikely friendship with a human (James Marsden), who’s at odds with his own father. Despite earning a little attention with his drumming skills, E.B. has to reevaluate his priorities when his dad is overthrown by his bitter right hand man, Carlos, a fuzzy yellow chick with a Spanish accent (voiced by Hank Azaria, of course!).

Azaria is a total scream as the “Latino chick”, but this is obviously comedian Russell Brand’s show. Let’s talk about Russell Brand, shall we? You either love him or hate him. I happen to love him to bits. Lanky and spastic and sort of naughty—what’s not to love? Sort of describes many of our own kids, right? So, in that respect, I imagined he’d be perfect for a voice-over role in a kids’ movie.

The problem—though “problem” is a strong word—is that the dialogue was obviously written to suit Brand’s brand of humor. The rapid-fire, British clever-speak is amusing to an adult’s trained ear, but it flies right over little kids’ heads. As does the hilarity that lies within Azaria's performance. Nuance is not a very kid-friendly concept. It certainly didn’t ruin the movie – it’s still cute and creative and fun to look at – but, without a direct-connect with much of the comedic element of the movie, the littler kids (we watched with a group of 5-year-olds) get a little antsy towards the latter part of the movie. You could definitely tell it was made by some of the same folks that did Despicable Me and Alvin & the Chipmunks--but a little less silly and fewer quotable one-liners.

Certainly worth the price of admission, though I’m not sure this is destined to become a holiday classic. I guess time will tell.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BIG EASY: Audubon Zoo’s “Cool Zoo”

2011-04-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

With my usual brilliance, I planned my inaugural trip to Audubon Zoo’s “Cool Zoo” splash park on Good Friday. Along with every other able-bodied human in the Greater New Orleans area. After braving a membership line that stretched back to Magazine Street (slight exaggeration), I at least had the foresight to ask if I could purchase Cool Zoo tickets ($4 for members, $5 for non) at the main entrance, thereby avoiding yet another line for tickets back by the carousel. In lieu of tickets, we're given wristbands, which is awesome, if you ask me. I stink at keeping up with tickets.

Having watched with anticipation as they built this sucker, I was well aware of its location. Can't miss it. Walk in the front gate and keep walking straight (skirting around the big fountain, of course, duh) until you dead end, just past the playground, to the right of the carousel. Pleasant attendants were manning the gates, checking for the obligatory wrist bands, but also watching for runaway young ‘uns. Good to have a second line of defense!

Stepping through the gate, it really is quite a lovely little park. Of course, there’s the huge, colorful splash structure in the center, complete with slides, sprayers, ropes, tunnels, buckets a-dumping, and of course, the massive white gator who dumps the biggest bucket of all—you’re alerted by the sound of a clanging fire alarm--on the delighted kiddos below. But, they’ve also managed to create a lovely park-like feel around the periphery—each section with its own vantage point to keep an eye on the soggy youngsters. There’s a tree-shaded deck filled with tables and chairs, umbrella tables along the back wall, and cabanas in the back corner. Cabanas for, um… napping? Massages? I’m assuming you must bring your own cot and/or masseuse. And if you’re able to block out the clanging, squealing, and whistle blasts enough to enjoy a snooze or spa service, more power to ya.

Be forewarned: while there appears to be a lot of options, seating is actually at a premium. I was there when the park opened, yet by the time I reached the Cool Zoo, I was only able to secure an errant chair – which was all we really needed. But, if you’re in need of room to spread out your picnic, be sure to stake your claim early. If you don't really need the space, let's think of our fellow parents – how ‘bout try not to hog a whole table, only to use it as a mere bag rest, okay? (You know who you are!)

Speaking of picnicking, I’m a cheapskate, so I try to sneak my own food to as many place as possible—the zoo, parks, movie theaters, etc—but I made sure to check out the concessions at the Snack ‘N Splash hut, nonetheless. Not as pricy as I imagined, I must say. $2 for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, $2 for a kid’s drink, and other items like French fries, corndogs, chips/cheetos, candy, ice cream, icees, and such all hovered somewhere between $2-5-ish. They even serve beer and daiquiris! (But mama was rolling solo, so it was a “dry” day at the splash park.) My son and I wound up splitting a $3 order of “beignet fries.” What a concept, right?! He loved them, I found them rather soggy, so we’ll call it a draw.

To be honest, I was not looking forward to unsheathing my pasty, pudgy, middle-aged bod for the masses, and luckily (for me and everyone in attendance), I didn’t have to. It’s actually quite feasible to dodge much of the spray if you’re crafty like me. But I can’t guarantee your precious, carefully pressed khaki pants won’t get soaked by a cheeky five-year-old at the helm of a water cannon. Yes, yes, I talked to my kid about not spraying adults – especially dry ones—but not until after a sour-pussed young mom fell victim. My apology apparently was not sufficient as she never wiped the death-blow of a dirty look off her face. Gimme a break, people. There’s no place for priss in a SPLASH PARK!

Safety-wise, I felt pretty good about the place. It’s not a huge park, so there aren’t too many places for your kid to completely disappear – though the play structure has a full 360-degrees of activity, so it’s impossible to see them 100% of the time, unless you’re physically with them on the slides and such. From what I could tell, there were usually two or so attendants patrolling right up in the middle of the action, in raincoats with parade whistles. And with a crowd the size of this one, there was plenty of whistle-blowing. Nice to have a little safety patrol to calm the wild beasts, I say. It can definitely get a little frenzied on the structure, but there are plenty of calmer, gentler splashing opportunities around the edges, and a separate zone just for the tinies. During a brief chat with another mom, we had differing opinions on the safety of the structure, itself – but she had a shy 3-year-old clinging to her, so yeah -- probably wise to keep the smaller and/or more timid ones out of the fray.

Another nice feature is the fact that, while there are two gates, they are located right next to each other, and a decent distance away from the action, so it’s possible to position yourself between your kid and their only exit route. (If you have a nutty, fearless, never-met-a-stranger child like mine, you know exactly why this is a good thing.) The fact that they are manned gates adds a little more peace of mind.

There are also lockers, family restrooms, and "The Cool Shop," stocked with necessities like towels, sunscreen, flip-flops, t-shirts, towels, hats, swimsuits, sunglasses, etc. Oh, and they sell something called a "Big Squirt" water toy. In case you need yet another liquid trajectory out there.

Overall, I think this place is pretty awesome. I imagine when the temps go through the roof, this joint is really going to be hopping! Maybe Miss Pressed-Pants will enjoy a refreshing little water cannon action by then! (Or not.)

http://www.auduboninstitute.org/visit/zoo/fun-favorites/cool-zoo

BIG EASY: Parakeet Pointe at Audubon Aquarium

2011-04-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

The backstory really isn't relevant to the experience, but it's sort of funny. My son and I wound up at Parakeet Pointe by accident when we and my husband got stuck in gnarly, snarly French Quarter Fest traffic. Out of desperation--and to avoid an ugly, unavoidable altercation between my frustrated husband and whiny-whiny five year old--I grabbed the boy and set out on-foot. In an effort to keep my son from burning out in the crowds and heat before his poor dad found a stupid parking place and could meet up with us again, we took a detour to the Aquarium. We'd been meaning to check out Parakeet Pointe, anyway, so this was perfect.

Now, to be honest, I was a little trepidatious, as I've been known to have issues with other such enclosures where birds are flying overhead and either landing on me or leaving a little souvenir in my hair or on my clothing. And, don't get me started on the whole Tippi Hedren angle. But, much to my delight, these are some well-behave birds. You have the option of paying $1 at the entrance for a popsicle stick with some birdseed attached to it and--voila--an instant bird perch. Being the well-mannered birds that they are, you have to sort of coax them onto the stick, but once they're on there, it's actually pretty cool. I'm shocked they allow unpredictable little hellions such access to the poor little creatures, but none of the parakeets were injured during that particular visit. Hope that remains the case.

My son was dying to pet the birds, but when we asked, we were told it wasn't allowed. But, believe me, I got an EARFUL when my son watched some Aquarium commercials at home a few days later, which showed kids touching the parakeets. "See mom, TWO FINGERS! That's how I was going to pet them!" You better believe they'll have a serious fairness debate on their hands when my little juris-pre-K boy steps foot in there again. We'll see how that goes.

Luckily, it's a lovely facility, they didn't rush us through, and it's conveniently located in the food court, sort of behind the Häagen-Dazs counter. I say "luckily" as we had plenty of time to kill visiting with the birds and eating ice cream--my husband spent an hour-and-a-half slogging through traffic looking for parking, only to wind up driving to Algiers and taking the ferry back across to meet us. Not exactly the quaint experience my son and I had. And, needless to say, the next stop was a daiquiri stand!

Entrance to Parakeet Pointe is free with Audubon Aquarium of the Americas admission. For more info, visit their site: http://www.auduboninstitute.org/visit/aquarium/fun-favorites/parakeet-pointe.

BIG SCREEN: Win Win Revieux (Rated R)

2011-04-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

Who among us hasn’t been tempted to take a few, let’s say, less-than-kosher shortcuts to make life a little easier? In Win Win, Mike Flaherty (Paul Giamatti) is a struggling, small-town lawyer and family man who’s suffering some pretty debilitating panic attacks over his financial situation. On the side, he coaches a truly terrible high school wrestling team, which seems to only exacerbate the situation. When the opportunity presents itself, he executes some shady legal maneuverings to boost his bank account – and he scores a star wrestler in the process. Seems like a “win-win” – that is, until everything starts to unravel.

The writing starts off pretty clumsy as we’re hit over the head with some clunky symbolism – chubby Mike gets passed by thinner, leaner runners while jogging; a dead tree is about to fall on his house; the hot water heater in his office is clanking away and threatening to blow – subtle, right? But, luckily, the acting and character development make up for it.

The role of a troubled young wrestler who both complicates and clarifies Mike’s situation is played by newcomer Alex Shaffer, who nails the disconnected teen vibe, while effortlessly conveying a sweetness and vulnerability. It’s totally believable that he easily ingratiates his way into Mike’s family and creates such a stir.

And I’m just going to admit it: Paul Giamatti can pretty much do no wrong in my eyes. The man is a genius. And while this isn’t the most sophisticated movie on the planet, he brings such complexity the role. Even as his character makes some pretty crappy choices, we can’t help but empathize. Giamatti manages to convey all the despair of a man-on-the-edge one moment, then turns on a dime and exudes hope and optimism in the next. But all the while, those sad eyes and slouch never let you forget that complete failure could be lurking around the corner. The result is a sort of nail-biting tension and anxiety, usually reserved for thrillers, that propel the story ever-forward.

A real charmer with a big heart!

It’s rated R for language. Which is a shame, as it’s got a good message for teens – and parents. I can’t recall the language being all that horrific, so if you don’t mind a few four-letter-word tirades, it’s totally worth it.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/

BEYOND: Check back soon!

2011-04-17T13:18:00.001-07:00

I'll begin posting on daytrips from New Orleans sometime in June.

BIG SCREEN: Jane Eyre Revieux (Rated PG-13)

2011-04-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

In case the years since high school have erased the plot of Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre from your memory, here’s a quick refresher… Jane is an orphaned young woman whose fiery spirit remains intact, yet buried beneath the surface after years of abuse and repression -- first at the hands of a wicked aunt, then the cruel headmaster and teachers at her Dickensian boarding school. When she’s finally set free and becomes a governess, she finds that, sadly, society can be similarly cruel and repressive. She finally seems to have a true shot at happiness when Rochester, the only man she’s ever loved, proposes to her, but a horrible secret he’s been harboring shatters her short-lived bliss.

After formulating my opinion regarding this latest film adaptation of Charlotte Bronte’s 19th century Gothic novel, I snooped around the internet to see what other people thought. I had a sneaking suspicion, and sure enough, the one thing that most other critics praised was the main thing I did NOT like about this movie: the performance of the lead actress.

Mia Wasikowska played Alice in Tim Burton’s version of Alice in Wonderland, and I found her to be consistently sort of cold and detached, which, I assumed, was probably what the delightfully odd Burton was after. (I find it’s best not to really question or analyze his choices, just go along for the ride.) But, I was curious to see what else she could do. Especially in such a challenging role as Jane Eyre.

I was impressed at first, as she masterfully conveyed a painful restraint that speaks to the conditions poor Jane had lived under all those years. But as the story progressed, I was disappointed to see very little else from her. She plays opposite the fabulous Judi Dench as Mrs. Fairfax, Rochester’s housekeeper, and a very aptly cast and fiery Michael Fessbender as Rochester. But I never saw the least hint of affection or passion behind her eyes – just that same painful restraint. Wasikowska’s performance remains so understated throughout the movie that it seems as though the cruelties and the inequities of gender and class Jane endured were successful in pretty much dilluting her spirit. Which is exactly the opposite of what the novel portrays.

But, alas, all was not lost. The non-linear approach was refreshing, the pacing was perfect, the cinematography was appropriately bleak, damp, and dreary, and the handling of the horrifying aspects of Rochester’s dirty little secret was quite tasty and suspenseful. But when the lead actress in the title role fails to deliver (or is not directed to deliver) a complex enough performance, sadly, the overall experience is just… meh. Worth it, however, for Bronte fans -- whom, I’m sure, will enjoying comparing and contrasting the novel and various adaptations – and for students, as a supplement to their required reading.

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BIG SCREEN: Rango Revieux (Rated PG)

2011-04-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Johnny Depp as the voice of a wacky, computer-animated lizard in a Hawaiian shirt – I mean, how could it go wrong? How, indeed. My 5-year-old son and I both had high hopes going into this thing, but one of us wound up squirming and griping for most of the movie. (Don’t ask which one, I plead the fifth.)

Quick summary: Rango is a lonely, terrarium-dwelling chameleon with an identity crisis and a penchant for staging plays with inanimate objects. When he suddenly finds himself lost in the Wild West, he convinces his fellow talking reptiles and amphibians that he’s a fearsome gunslinger. He enjoys the attention and respect until things go south and he gets himself into a heap of trouble.

Sounds promising, right? There’s just one problem… it’s BORING! The pacing is snail-like, the characters aren’t particularly interesting, and most of the humor is way over the kids’ heads (and not very funny to this adult either, by the way). And instead of a straightforward moral of the story, like “be yourself,” it’s all bogged down in more of an existential struggle to find the answers to the age-old questions, “Who am I? What is my purpose in life?”

Well, I don’t know about you, but my purpose is not to spend $30 and two hours of my life checking the time, Facebook, Twitter, and my email on my phone. In the interest of full disclosure, my son wasn’t nearly as squirmy or disappointed as I was, but he would watch a 24-hour Sponge Bob marathon if we let him.

My advice: rent it. It gives you the option of watching paint dry or doing laundry if you find it as snore-worthy as I did.

For New Orleans-area movie theaters and showtimes, visit...
http://neworleans.mrmovietimes.com/