BIG SCREEN: Intruders Revieux (Rated R)

I’ll be honest. I’ve become a huge chicken in my old age. I’m much more nervous about flying these days, and I no longer crave adrenaline rushes via risky stunts (like skydiving or dating). And horror movies now scare the bejeezus out of me, which is why I was sort of dreading seeing Intruders. Not only is it a scary movie, but it involves a frightening being who tries to possess little kids.

This is the perfect storm for neurotic mommies with furtive imaginations. Like me.

Intruders is the story of two children who live in different countries, but are tormented by the same hooded, faceless creature named Hollowface, who creeps into their rooms at night. No one can see this creature except one of each of their parents, who both feel powerless to protect their children. Clive Owen plays the father of the British girl in this scenario, and everyone begins to question his sanity and parental fitness when a shrink suggests he and his daughter are suffering from shared hallucinations. As the movie progresses, the two storylines converge, revealing the connection between the two families, and their shared link to Hollowface.

Hm. So, the premise is intriguing, and the set-up was adequately eery. Clive is quite the opposite of horrifying to look at, and for the first half of the movie, I was quite nervous. Off to a good start. But, ultimately, this movie just left me hanging. I judge a horror movie – or any movie, for that matter – by how much it “follows” me afterwards. For instance, The Skin I Live In (the last horror film I saw) followed me to WalMart, where I suspected each and every shopper of conducting sadistic human experiments in their basements. That's pretty darn effective.

In my opinion, scary movies should leave you thinking irrationally and feeling paranoid. Intruders left me still trying to unravel the true motives and actual origins of the monster, instead of wondering if it was going to show up in my kid’s closet. And for that, I’m actually grateful.

Bawk bawk.