BIG EASY: Hotel Monteleone... for Kids?

Given that the hubster is STILL in recovery mode after contracting French Quarter Funk at the Oyster Festival last week (perhaps I overplayed the bravado a bit in that post), I decided to skip all the festival festivities this weekend, and opted for a less crowded French Quarter activity: a birthday party for Monte the Lion, the Hotel Monteleone’s mascot.

Like me, I’m sure many of you have been to a kiddie party or two in a swank locale that tried to cater to both the kids and the parents, only to fall short in both categories. Oh, cool -- mommy gets to go the fancy hotel in a nice dress, but she has to spend the whole time catering to her bored, cranky kid because the hosts just threw out some stupid crafts, a lame DJ, and some snacks in silver serving dishes. Certainly the kids will be satisfied simply hanging out in the Ooh-La-La Hotel. Serious miscalculation. Wasted afternoon.

That’s why when I committed to this party, I didn’t have very high expectations. Sure, it was at the fabulous, historic Hotel Monteleone, which I’ve passed in the French Quarter a million times, but never actually visited. I always hear about the cool Carousel Bar and its amazing cocktails, but this ain’t that kind of affair. So, in we trudged, up to the ballroom, past all the chandeliers and grandeur, and I wondered how long we’d have to stay without seeming rude.

I have to admit, it was a pretty nice spread. Kid-friendly hot dogs, hamburgers, and french fries galore were all displayed in the aforementioned silver chafing dishes, along with fine silverware, embossed napkins, and a friendly, accommodating staff in crisp white uniforms. And they upped the ante quite a bit with a made-to-order, cold-stone ice cream station and a DIY cupcake decorating table. Nicely played, but come on, even if we hit the crafts table, we could burn through this in 45 minutes flat.

What I didn’t account for was the formidable hosting committee. Monte the birthday lion was joined by Gumbo the Saints’ St. Bernard, Boudreaux the Zephyrs’ nutria, Hugo the Hornet, and B97’s bee (they're pictured, above, playing a comical game of musical chairs). Yeah, I know it’s their jobs to entertain and all, but you’d sort of understand if they phoned it in for a little kids’ party. But for two hours, these guys (and a girl) were as committed to silly party games as they are to entertaining thousands of screaming sports fans, and they lavished each kid with tons of attention. Seriously, after being hugged on and spun around and tickled the whole time, I had to pry my son off poor Gumbo more than once.

Even their choice of DJ was spot on. This dude managed to keep things rolling with just enough banter to goad the mascots and keep both kids and parents amused – not an easy task. The grand finale was a second line around the room, complete with napkins a-wavin’ all over the place. God bless New Orleans!

I’m not kidding when I tell you I was grinning like an idiot the whole time, and my kid was sopping wet with dance-induced sweat. Oh, and our final departure time was 15 minutes after the event was scheduled to end. THIS is how it’s done, folks!

We skipped Monte’s annual children’s holiday tea last year, as it sounded like a disciplinary nightmare for my active five-year-old, but I’ve seen the light. These people know what they’re doing, so we’ll be first in line for this year’s festivities!

For more info on the Hotel Monteleone or to check out their calendar of events, visit http://www.hotelmonteleone.com/