BIG SCREEN: Winnie the Pooh Revieux (Rated-G)

Why do these reviews so often start with a confession? Okay, here’s this week’s: I was fighting multiple layers of cynicism before this movie even started. I was close to $30 in the hole for snacks and admission to a 69-minute movie that was probably going to bore and/or annoy me out of my gourd. (I’ve been nominated for “Mother of the Year” for my selflessness on multiple occasions, doncha know?) Add to it that my son, the kindergarten grifter, admitted to me after the purchase of the aforementioned sugary snacks that he had, in fact, consumed a sno-ball and two packs of Starburst at camp before I picked him up. I was in a great mood at this point, lemme tell you.

With black cloud firmly in place over my head, I sat back and dared this movie to even remotely entertain me. It’s a good thing it’s dark in there, because man, was I rolling my eyes over the plot. First of all, that perpetually complaining downer, Eeyore (who I actually love and can relate to, for obvious reasons), has lost his tail and needs everyone’s help finding it. Secondly, Pooh is desperately in search of “hunny,” but no one cares. And, finally, Christopher Robin has left a note that the essentially illiterate animals misinterpret. Instead of reading that he’ll “be back soon,” that know-it-all Owl tells them he’s been kidnapped by the “Backson” monster. Genius, no? Ugh. I’ll never make it, I thought.

But a curious thing happened as the movie progressed. Little children, including my own, began giggling hysterically at this simple-minded, uninventive, two-dimensional little filmette. They’re laughing? They’re enjoying it? How can that be? There’s no burping, no fart jokes, no pies in the faces. No C.G.I. trickery, nor fancy car chases. And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say -- that the grumpy mom's small heart grew three sizes that day…

Yes, it was like I was sitting atop a giant sleigh full of Christmas, watching the Who’s celebrate the true meaning of Pooh Bear. Suddenly, even I found myself laughing with the kiddies over stuff, like the following exchange:

Rabbit: Can you tie a knot?
Piglet: Um, I can *not* knot.
Rabbit: Not knot?
Pooh: Who's there?

I finally chilled out and saw that the beauty of this movie lies in its simplicity and sense of tradition. Eeyore, Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Owl, and of course, Tigger -- they all look and sort of sound the same as they did 30+ years ago. There’s a certain level of comfort in that kind of nostalgia. Especially when little kids, who are being raised on electronic devices and high-tech everything, still love it. And, I mean, when’s the last time you saw an actual G-Rated movie?

Somehow, I missed the fact that John Cleese narrates and Craig Ferguson voices Owl, or maybe I would’ve snapped out of my grouchy funk a little sooner. I did, however, recognize that coolness personified, Ms. Zooey Deschanel (Jovie from the movie Elf and singer from the duo She & Him), was singing some of the Pooh tunes. That probably helped propel me out of the crankiness a little, too.

Bottom line: it’s a beautiful thing. Straight out of an old A.A. Milne book with no bells and whistles. If your kid digs it, maybe there’s still hope for this next generation. If you still dig it, maybe you haven’t lost your soul to the Dark Lord of Parental Cynicism, afterall.